Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML
Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
Today, I was cleaning my car when I hit the automatic window button while I was vacuuming in between the door and the driver's seat, and got stuck halfway out, in full view of my neighbor. He had to come get me out, because I couldn't reach the button. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my boyfriend has severe dog phobia, and a dog off its lead ran up to him in a car park. He panicked and tried to jump into the car, but the door hit it in the head and it started fitting and seizing. About three people called the police and the dog's owner broke our car window. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML
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Top comments
AZFreckles 0
I'm sorry for your dog. But what kind of moron are you for driving with a ******* dog on your lap?!?!?! Was there no room on the passenger seat, or better yet, in the back seat?? Can you honestly say that your dog is never a distraction to your driving? I'm guessing NOT if it's ******** on you.
SOCALME 3
Scooby dooby doo?
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Comments (157)
3thanXD 0
wow that's a shity situation.
shanie123 10
ew. that poor dog
chocchipcookies 0
You don't know how many pedos are going to be looking up the name Shanie Johnson... I wouldn't have ur name there if I were you!
CiaranPM 0
I'll get right on that.
chelle_starlight 0
wow...I have to give you credit for driving with the windows half down in Wisconsin in the middle of December...perhaps he was so freakin' cold...
Diplomatz 0
YDI for having a dog.
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
^ big ass nose.
mintcar 10
Oh shut up. ^ It's always the one without a picture.
schwancy 2
Looks like a fairly average size nose to me.
mintcar 10
ones* (Attempt 3)
agm2010 0
29 is right. it's Always someone that doesntt have a picture of themselves tht talk smack
btnhdude 0
omg I know right? btw i don't like your hair color at all!
btnhdude 0
lol I'm just kidding
krdel 0
If I had no idea what was cutting into my neck while looking out of a window I would have done the same thing the dog did.
77taylah33 0
stuff your shirt how's the dog??!!!!!
staceystar15 0
that first part reminded me of doctor doo-little
VinegarStrokes 0
You seem to have posted the only rational comment here.
pipipiyo 12
... the same thing happened to me when I was an elementary kid. except I pressed on it with my stomach. and I didn't shit myself.
BleakAsFcuk 0
So it wasn't the same was it? Hypothetically; Statement; Oh, I crashed my car today. Response; Omg the same thing happened to me, except I was playing Grand theft auto and I crashed a helicopter. Result; Not really the same is it?/!
ScOrPiOnloool 6
shit day