Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML
Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I was at a small secret Santa with a group of friends. Everyone got each other some amazing gifts, the first person got a homemade self portrait, the second person got some professional grade playing cards, the third person got an album of past memories, and I got a pack of pens. FML
Today, after weeks of tirelessly organising a Secret Santa with work colleagues, we finally exchanged gifts. I got a stapler, which had been stolen from my desk the day before. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML
Today, I think my friends were trying to tell me something with all my Christmas gifts being mostly perfume, deodorant, and soap. FML
Today, for our Christmas gift exchange, we were supposed to all bring alcohol. I got a Crown Royal Apple box with a couple of positive pregnancy tests. FML
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Top comments
Dynoblaze 1
YDI for being greedy and a size queen. Bigger isn't always better. ;)
schwancy 2
Get a dog and a boyfriend.
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Comments (64)
Dynoblaze 1
YDI for being greedy and a size queen. Bigger isn't always better. ;)
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
you women are really making it to easy. next thing you know there will be another FML about a women and cooking.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
NOOO pasted wrong comment. why does the comment I not want to go through go through urghh *1# you must have a small penis*
4bidden 0
haha damn thats funny shit bro.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
why would they put that stuff as a gift when obviously there were chances a female might pick it. I say try to trade with one of your ci-workers.
iSitt 0
Even Indiana Jones knew not to choose the fanciest grail.
hannah1203 2
This is why you pick the smallest box, because it couldn't been an engagement ring! Doofus.
elliewantscake 8
Agreed. Think about an iPhones and large pack of soap.
carbonbasedcynic 17
just because of your avatar I'm downvoting all of your comments
robinsn 0
FYL
btnhdude 0
Santa doesn't like milk either, he likes reindeer blood. ironic huh?
amisenho 11
Santa's Swedish? I could have sworn he was Dutch.
schwancy 2
Get a dog and a boyfriend.
My_Deathbed 0
sure just let her go to 7-11 to get a bf...
VinegarStrokes 0
Lol #3 your comment was hilarious!
4bidden 0
some people arent as beautiful as the rest of us and cant get gfs/bfs
BoredomKillsinc 0
or a dog and call it your bf, or ecen get a bf and call him your dog o.O heh
frozzenhart 0
28 for those that can't get a gf/bf and a dog , they can use the wrong gender body spray on themselves and eat the dog food .
Hutchie931 15
Or just buy a dog and make him smell fabulous
turturkeykey 0
Just become Jewish, then you won't have to deal with it.
siege10 0
stop bitching at least you received something.
4bidden 0
damn dude when i first seen your picture i thought you were inflating your girl friend lmfao:D
my_user_name 7
#5 said it best. How is your life ****** because you got something for FREE? Just throw it away or give it to somebody else, and you're no worse off than you were the day before.
gogokira 5
Technically, it's not for free because they had to give a gift as well.
unidentified_sta 5
You picked and chose wrong. Wow...
xXBlackAceXx 0
haha he speaks the truth
omgcookeys 15
she should have gotten the smallest. those are usually the best.
EvilLittleGirl 24
Yea it's usually jewellery or something really cute and tiny and awww I love small stuff idk
FYLDeep 26
Haha you got the old maid. Better luck next Christmas.
Mirorbo 27
I've never enjoyed gift exchanges myself... Einey gave me a bunch of books with very tiny print about science stuff. I hope he enjoyed the CD I got for him though. That man needs some music in his life.
FFML_314 12
Do you need both? Men are dogs. *Waits for attack*
Mirorbo 27
Fuhohohoho!~ I love you for that darling!~ Well delivered!
unidentified_sta 5
I'd argue against that... except I doubt my profile picture helps my case.
krdel 0
If men are dogs then wouldn't man's best friend be other men? Isn't it impossible for men to be dogs because dogs would cease to exist if men were dogs since men are male humans? I am confused
krdel 0
Never mind, men love ******* so they can't be dogs. I got it figured out.
FFML_314 12
You just sit there in your corner and scratch your head. Good boy.
krdel 0
No I'm good I figured it out. thanks anyways
4bidden 0
"Got Bitch" haha i miss the "Got milk" comercials...
FFML_314 12
Let me be the first to ask, what the **** is a comercial?
Amgnowai 0
He meant 'commercial'. Now get over it >_<
FFML_314 12
No.
redpump 0
#37 ur dog is so cute XD
Amgnowai 0
Heh, thanks. :D
4bidden 0
#40 thanks bro
Skroal_stomper 5
I wish I was a dog so I could lick my balls. If I could do that I would not need you worthless women.
ShadyFTW1 0
FFML you are an idiot if you cannot figure out what a "comercial" is, as opposed to a commercial. And if you can, you are simply a petty bitch.
FFML_314 12
You must be new. I'm definitely a petty bitch. ;D
killab420 0
#30 & 31 made LOL!
killab420 0
#30 & 31 made me LOL
APurpleWaffle 0
@ FFML_314 Hm. Just wondering.. Why do women always call men dogs? Women ask to be treated equally, so if we were to treat you equally, wouldn't you then be a dog too? But you're female, so I suppose that makes you a... BITCH.
Luke1717 0
so your saying you MATE with dogs?? hm
APurpleWaffle 0
I guess so, but occording to them, we're dogs also. So there's nothing wrong with it then, now is there?
FFML_314 12
Where in my post did I say that I sleep with men?
APurpleWaffle 0
He said 'mate' meaning to reproduce. I don't think you reproduce with women, now do you? Unless you truly are a G.I.R.L. (guy-in-real-life) Hmm...
FFML_314 12
OK, who said I plan to reproduce?
APurpleWaffle 0
We all can only hope you don't plan on it. We don't need any more people like you in this world, we already have enough.
Yog_Sahaw 0
We don't need any more people in this world, period.
Deadinsidelivelyoutside 9
Heinous creature you are.
chelle_starlight 0
time to re-gift then...