Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom and smelled a disgusting cheesy smell. I looked at the tub and my boyfriend was furiously scrubbing under his toenails with a nail brush. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
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Top comments
killuhand 12
can't blame the kid for wanting to be minty fresh
feldco1 17
At least this didnt say "my toothbrush."
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Comments (128)
killuhand 12
can't blame the kid for wanting to be minty fresh
Kamon97 23
Did he at least floss after?
GoingCommando93 14
Well, who's toothbrush was it?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I remember the fml way back when the brother found out his sister was using his electronic toothbrush to pleasure herself. I did not expect a father to find his son using a normal toothbrush to wash his wang off. Obviously he should have used an electronic SpongeBob toothbrush instead. The "FUN" song really helps to get into those hard to reach areas.
darkitsuki 2
*minty flesh
LowExpectations 30
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
sarah6786 14
He wanted to make sure his girlfriend's breath smelled nice.
tjv3 10
Wouldn't that hurt? You would think it would
JocelynKaulitz 28
Brush-a brush-a brush-a :)
Fitzinator1995 13
it wasn't yours was it?
Gingerette 8
I giggled hardcore at this. I think he should get props for being hygienic.
biggestfan23 11
That's the complete opposite of being hygienic
ViRepz 28
#17 How is it? The FML never said it was the same regular toothbrush that is used to brush teeth.
doodlecloud 27
I can't imagine something as rough as a toothbrush would be a good tool for cleaning something so delicate...that skin is soft and could potentially get cut (or at least very sore), which could become infected. Therefore, not hygienic.
biggestfan23 11
#32 it doesn't have to say. Anybody who has a brain can come to the conclusion that he was using a toothbrush that is used to brush your teeth
vipirius 18
48 he could have bought a separate toothbrush specifically for that task.
evilplatypus 39
48 - I have a toothbrush for cleaning behind my ears. It's never been used for anything else. Yes it's a bit strange, but there's no reason to conclude I also use it for teeth.
unlucky_lucy 17
Oh those awkward parent moments
lbrown66 12
I hope you haven't had any of these, you look about 9 years old
ViRepz 28
She could be the cause of the moments?
whyisitme12 19
Those awkward parent moments. Can u imagine how the kid felt. And now the whole FML community will see it.
Chumbowamba 10
I agree.. aint a parent but hell I would not know how to respond. lol
feldco1 17
At least this didnt say "my toothbrush."
boating_guy 33
what I wonder is who's toothbrush...
sk1tt135 22
That's what I was wondering, who's toothbrush is it?
Sansa_fml 38
That was what I was thinking. It can always be worse.
Kaatosade 9
A clean penis is a happy one, no?
ZingZilla 8
We can only hope he didn't clean the inside of the pipe work if you catch my drift...
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe he's got a hoodie and is cleaning the inside of that...
NightHawk387 22
That would be really painful.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Where has he been putting it, if it has plaque buildup?
Miss_Latina 13
Probably in someone's mouth.
Chumbowamba 10
A dirty mouth.. :0
ileenefudge 29
Clean is up with orbit! :D
kaymi 17
If it was your toothbrush, fyl. Otherwise eh, he cleaned his penis who cares about the method he used? Lol
150493x 29
He wants it in mint condition
massinator5 4
Wouldn't that hurt?
Blackcatluck 19
No it actually feels good...,not that I would know or anything
Brenna19 5
Only way to find out is to try lol
RollingCakes 21
Quite alot actually, which surprises me since the majority of people who do clean are uncircumcised and if one is uncircumcised it's usually pretty sensitive down there.
massinator5 4
In just gonna go ahead and pass on the opportunity.
Patriot115 10
I hope it wasn't your toothbrush