Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
Today, I have to use the same techniques to trick my 24-year-old husband into brushing his teeth, as I do my 2-year-old. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Learning curve
Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
What am I doing?
Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Top comments
MessedUpLife00 13
New all natural floss! Get it now! Only $2.99 per container!
tmj25789 23
Well the plus side is he got protein from the earthworm.
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Comments (27)
MessedUpLife00 13
New all natural floss! Get it now! Only $2.99 per container!
stayydomii 21
Prepare for the many gross things kids will do. This is one of the many. I know personally I've done many questionable things like eat dog food, play and collect worms, bug eating contest with friends, etc. Hopefully this doesn't become a habit for your little one, but don't be surprised at all the nasty shit they will do from birth to childhood.
Lalala579121 28
I've learned from this website that it often isn't limited to just childhood.
JustinJK 21
Yeah I've done many of those things as an adult. although inebriation was a part of it too
tmj25789 23
Well the plus side is he got protein from the earthworm.
MisterKnowItAll 15
Well ain't that disgusting.
RichardPencil 32
If he can floss with an earthworm, his smile must look like a jack-o'-lantern's!
cheeology 22
or like that one scene in the Grinch with the termites in his teeth!!!
mermaidkeels 26
A snack and a floss all in one!
FalloutScrolls 25
Bear Grylls better watch out. We have a prodigy in the making.
limegreenpoopie 31
He's just an innovator :3
Dark_Cecilia 20
But the worm's far too thick...
mattyiscool123 26
Looks like a new life hack