Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I set out to clean the house while my wife was at work. Starting with the vacuum cleaner, it suddenly started making a strange noise and emitting a burning smell. Panicking, I unplugged it and noticed one of our toddler's socks had been sucked into it, causing it to overheat. I managed to extract the sock, but now our expensive vacuum cleaner is toast. FML
Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I wanted to clean my house. Of course the vacuum cleaner got stuck behind furniture multiple times. After the fifth time or so, I gave it a good pull. Now my vacuum cleaner is broken and the socket is off the wall. FML
Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML
Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
I think you will still succeed in surprising her...
Arathis 19
Cook some s'mores over the fire and surprise her with those.
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Comments (55)
Arathis 19
Cook some s'mores over the fire and surprise her with those.
LilMissCanadian 22
Your profile picture matches your statement.
Fuaaad1994 31
Could even use water gun to put the fire out after making them
False_Stupidity 42
You know, i'm thinking that OP sucked up a spider, and even the vacuum knew that the only way to deal with spiders is to kill it with fire so it sacrificed itself for the cause.
expertsmilee 26
Surprise!
TheClassicMan848 11
This better get a follow up!
psychopolarbear 28
Pretty sure the universe just told you to stop trying to clean. It simply wasn't meant to be.
A07 48
Some people have the worst luck, but it's the thought that counts OP!
WitEluded 13
I think you will still succeed in surprising her...
hellnosucka 27
I think the vacuum is trying to summon a demon.
Al3xv3l92 24
Oh yeah definitely but not by a clean House.
hman1025 17
Jesus your profile pic makes everything dirty
karahcoco 2
She was very surprised & very upset.
Lounia_fml 8
You know what they say. No good deed goes unpunished.
McIntian 12
how long had it been since you last vacuumed?
TheNewGuy03 29
Well, usually, when people talk about cooking and cleaning, it's usually not the house itself that they're cooking. ...is the house OK?
UncleHoodie 22
The vacuum just wanted to celebrate the surprise.
JMichael 26
I don't think that's right..
WOTAN1488 24
That must have SUCKED.
NYM88 26
Not as much as your comment!
RedPillSucks 33
booo!!