Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
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Top comments
stormstarcj 12
Someone needs to step up in the romance department. Although, she probably bought them herself.
zeon492 13
Damn. What a asshole fyl.
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Comments (121)
zeon492 13
Damn. What a asshole fyl.
horne2 9
Im probably going to get thumbed down for this, but whatever. *an
judea95 16
Well maybe OP should buy her some flowers.
Javier6597 19
That sucks. A guy did the same with my gf only that he sent her flowers and a band to sing for her outside of her house
Anth6ny 9
Oh sit that sucks FULL OP
Welshite 40
Grabbing words at random from the dictionary does not make for a coherent sentence.
Gingerette 8
They might if you have the right accent.
Kaatosade 9
That was either a terrible moment of autocorrect or misuse of a dictionary. Either way, it provided me with some amusement.
Roskie 16
I guess I should learn this secret language, because apparently it makes perfect sense.
Kamon97 23
#19 no need to shout dude...
efettes 19
Nah it sucks half...
Anth6ny 9
Auto correct god damn FML
ShadowFlame275 18
#70 What was it supposed to say? I don't see that leading to a coherent sentence in any way.
Anth6ny 9
"Oh shit that sucks FYL OP"
BlueRainDude 11
"Whoa, just take it easy man"
stormstarcj 12
Someone needs to step up in the romance department. Although, she probably bought them herself.
Gingerette 8
Exactly. Lots of girls buy themselves flowers so the boyfriends feel competitive. I don't do it, but like a sadist I do love watching that type of erroneous comedy.
TheDrifter 24
The funny thing is, if he sends her flowers, the first response will be "he must be apologizing for something, that no good cheating asshole". There is no winning where flowers are concerned.
happle 21
55, If your girlfriend acts like that, that's not normal.
Kaatosade 9
If your girlfriend is that easy to persuade in her affection, perhaps you'd best look elsewhere. She should know you love her, roses or no. Sorry OP.
starile 20
That is, if OP makes an effort to let her know he loves her. Girls want to be shown affection on an ongoing basis, not just once.
Enslaved 38
I agree. It doesn't have to be expensive items to show your affection for your love ones. My boyfriend will sometimes draw me an unexpected bath when I come home from a hard work day or even get me a box of Mike and Ike candies (my fav) to show that he thinks about my happiness. No one wants to feel unappreciated.
RedPillSucks 33
And what do you do for him, enslaved? Us guys want to feel appreciated to! Do you give him a pedi with the french trim?
Enslaved 38
Ummm don't you worry! I know how to thank him in more than one way. Plus he never comes home to a dirty house.
MerrikBarbarian 9
16 though its a two way street I agree. My partner and I both buy and make little things to let the other know we are thinking of them. Both of us have different talents in making things the other likes. I surprise him whenever I have time with a sketch or painting of his favorite subjects, he has made me several pieces of beautiful jewelry as he knows I love anything that is shiny or iridescent. I got a friend to help me do a private modeling shoot for him. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy. Things that show you know the others tastes are far more meaningful. We also send each other thinking of you texts throughout the day. Just a nice reminder someone cares. Heck you can even leave cute notes for each other. If you know your partner loves coffee, a cup of coffee with a note "thinking of you, I love you" goes a long way. Far further than flowers. Nothing makes my day more than getting a midday text saying "I saw this and thought about you" and a photo of something in his day.
Kaatosade 9
I'm not saying OP doesn't do anything at all for her, but I do agree with you, small gestures are very nice. But I don't demand gifts every week, that's for sure! Roses are pretty expensive, at least they are here. :/
feldco1 17
Kick his ass! Besides not every girl likes flowers.
Misaki18 17
So if you didn't like flowers and your boyfriend bought them for you, you'd have the audacity to say "ew you know I hate flowers."? A gift is a gift and especially if it's a random occasion, should be gratefully taken. I definitely am not a chocolate and roses kind of girl but when my boyfriend comes to my doorstep with flowers I gladly accept.
feldco1 17
Never did I say that. I personally would tell my boyfriend, hey flowers really aren't my thing, but I always accept them from him. They're a sweet and sentimental gift, but personally I would rather have something of similar cost that doesn't wilt away.
unlucky_lucy 17
Someone wants your girl. Better step it up
TrueTriage 16
Cue musical number.
happle 21
And Grease jackets.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Buy her flowers yourself. Sometimes it's the little things that counts.
Patriot115 10
It's a trap!
kmf_stephyc 2
Give her a spa day and twice as many roses ! .... but I hope she didn't send them to her self for attention
purebliss_fml 19
Take her out for dinner and a movie, much more romantic than useless roses.