Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
"Fuckstick" is the only way to describe someone like that. Yuck.
cadillacgal79 32
I foresee a FML from your mother in the future....
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Comments (82)
CallMeWindSock 24
I foresee an FML in your mom's future
chefcow 17
I'd like to know why #1 got so many less likes than #2 when they basically posted the same thing
cadillacgal79 32
Earlier he did not have that typed down.
cadillacgal79 32
I foresee a FML from your mother in the future....
nataliewby 25
"Today, I found out my son has been combing his pubes with my toothbrush. FML"
alpacalipss 9
'today, i found three strands of curly black pubic hair in my toothbrush before i brushed. i think they're my son's. FML'
thee_most_dope 30
"Fuckstick" is the only way to describe someone like that. Yuck.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
After coming across that word, "fuckstick," I read it aloud several times. It has a nice ring to it.
xninix_fml 36
I think that's going to my new favorite insult :)
norotors 16
Don't forget "douchenozzle"!
devildog562 33
Anyone else wonder what he uses the floss for ?
emmatheamazingx 17
It's best not to ask...
malea_17 16
That's not a FML for you that's a fml for your mom! Be generous and throw the toothbrush away and buy her a new one.
Mauskau 36
Wtf why would you even need to comb your pubes? Might want to tell your mum...
devildog562 33
I comb my beard when it's long but, I don't think I have ever had puns long enough to brush, or a desire to brush them.
DiamondGirlj 18
A beard and pubes are two different things
tj4234 36
Actually, beards are pubic hair. Just on the face instead. But they are still pubic hair.
mattrd_fml 31
how is a beard pubic hair when it's not even in the pubic region?
tantanpanda 26
facial hair = hair on the face pubic hair = hair in the pubic region
quickit 24
That is vile and disgusting.
Exodiafinder687 58
Well you can't expect him to use his own toothbrush can you? It's just common sense.
GunSlinger69 19
Wow thats nasty, tell your mom ASAP!