Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
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Top comments
the_anti_hipster 7
Sounds like your mom's off her meds again...
StoryOfTheYear 15
Meanwhile in the Evil household.
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Comments (189)
PrincessPesa 20
Tonight... You. If you know that reference, you get a hand banana high five. OP, your mom is probably just a little loopy on pet dander or she's hungry or something. Perhaps for good measure you should sleep with one eye open, check regularly for deadly lasers or high powered drills, and make sure she doesn't replace you with a clone 1/8 her size. Moms can be crazy. Good luck!
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Tell her that it's not wise to drink the bong water.
Calyx_fml 22
So you saw your mom stroking her pussy? FYL.
klovemachine 24
I read this FML using Cartman's voice :D
KBear3109 29
This made me giggle! :)
TakeMeToRio 9
so?
KK3137 31
For a minute there I thought "stroking her kitty" was implying something completely different :D
L_Lovegood 19
Your mom must not be exactly clever if she thinks the cat is going to rule WITH her.
cupcake4eva 6
Somebody's going crazy.. Get some meds for her..
ChickInGreenVans 12
Strong kitty.. Warm kitty.. Little ball of fur.. Lazy kitty.. Pretty kitty.. Purr purr purr!!
KBear3109 29
I thought it was: Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr.
TheCamoWulf 17
O_O So that's how the cats hypnotize their victims! (btw I know it's a big bang theory reference xD)
Snafuusmc 12
You gotta have a sidekick if you wanna rule the world right?
False_Stupidity 42
Your reFURring to OP's mom as the sidekick right?