Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML
Today, I’d been dying to escape my dreary hometown, but had panic attacks at the thought of being on my own, but at last, I'd found a place I could afford. Turns out, the guy I was going to rent from was just arrested for murdering his last tenant. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of my friend’s apartment to surprise her. It opened, and an angry stranger shouted, “Who are you?” at me. I then realized I was on the wrong floor of the building. My friend still doesn’t know I almost barged in on her neighbor, because I'm too embarrassed to tell her. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
I think she meant the other kind of shady.
woainishamu 21
That's probably where the people in your building go to get hammered.
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Comments (46)
apollojon 11
i dont think its the hammer you should be worrying about. at least not the one in his hand.....
GTSharma 4
Are you...... Retarded????
apollojon 11
I was trying to imply that the man's dick was the other hammer.... and that OP should fear being raped in a secluded courtyard. Mission Failed. :(
DerrickJames 33
I think she meant the other kind of shady.
False_Stupidity 42
You mean He.
STACEKING 4
Did you run?
Puffytruffles 18
No of course not.
woainishamu 21
That's probably where the people in your building go to get hammered.
sammyf89 13
You always have to lookout for those hamming wielding foreign guys. Pesky things
ironichalibut 24
A Classic adventure story! Someone is given directions to some magical land or treasure of tranquility. After a dredging, perilous journey, our protagonist is on the cusp of revelation only to be ran off by terrifying, weapon wielding natives. Returning without the sought after prize, but perhaps, a rejuvenated sense of adventure.
ironichalibut 24
You probably offended something like about, four groups of people there I'd think. Quite effective if that was your goal. +3 to offense
dreamcatcher11 4
They're not trying to offend anyone.. they're talking about another FML posted the other day.
Imhere4fml 24
Maybe there's two shady spots and you just got the wrong one? OR they hired someone so only they can have that spot :)
Omfgitsmia 15
Sounds like a set up