Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
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Top comments
chaldochamp3 6
What a bitch
CrazyGirl445 4
Bu least she isn't talking about what a pussy you are.
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Comments (122)
chaldochamp3 6
What a bitch
Iamnotmyself 17
Get the cat on your side, start a rebellion. May the force be with you young Skywalker. Also sorry were both smoking the same stuff.
Damn_Hippster 11
Cats do know best...
auriane_fml 19
Atleast you didn't have to spend 500 bucks to get your cat back, because your mom decided to sell him.
DrIDGAF 7
Ask your pussy if she has a whispering eye
Keyman1212 14
Kitty needs ta start charging a bitch for her therapy sessions, to deal with her derelict child.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
This is more like the kittys FML.. : "Today i was ******** in my litter box and then the bitch came in and started talking to me about her daughter.YET AGAIN,FML"
andy_l 14
Don't you dare catch her talking to your dog. You know how bitches are when they talk to bitches about them bitches.
EvilPotato 15
maybe um I dunno become more useful.
LiveLaughFML 10
will the useless bitch be willing to get the messed up bitch therapy lessons?
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Your mom might dislike you slightly
scrapmetal58 9
At least the cat wasn't bitching about you to your mum. Or was it...?
skinthesnakes 6
why is your mom talking to her pussy... bitches be crazy i suppose.
zachherbert 10
Ohh NOOO
cman7197 0
At least she talking to a concious object amiright?
Dragon_Beast 4
Bitches and ******* are teaming up I see. I guess it time to siege the enemies tower!
juicedboi 7
There's a kitty on my foot and I want to touch it, kitty on my foot and I want to touch it, meow, meow, meow, meow meow-meow. 10points to those if you who know what the hell I'm on about. And the rest of you, I feel sorry for your souls!
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
101, Is it a song from Presidents of the United States of America?
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
If this isn't the first time that this has happened then maybe you are not doing enough around the house. Try doing more. I could be wrong and your mom is just a bitch.
Bekeliyr 10
well then stop being useless. bitch.
bizarre_ftw 22
how creative. nice response
CrazyGirl445 4
Bu least she isn't talking about what a pussy you are.
ObeseKitten 0
Maybe if you cleaned my litter box once and awhile....
CDABXXX 5
She likes cats more than dogs apparently.
loveexgirl 15
Doesn't she have any friends to rant to?
KendalKeller 3
Are you single and ready to mingle? ;)
Dr_Jalepenos 0
Some people consider their family pet as a family member so I don't think it's too weird. But the part about u being a bitch......
neonblue120 6
That's even WORSE why air all your business to someone that can repeat it or use it against you.
TheLastChild 8
HEY! The cat's a great listener...
TheLastChild 8
Guess that makes up for it's inability to tell her to shut the **** up:)
JurassicHole 5
Exactly, if op was as great a listener as her cat she wouldn't be completely useless :D.
crazyrunnergirl 7
Um. Well the good news is if she was telling the cat all this I doubt she has any friends.
sheethapins 13
Don't forget her husband Bob.
crazyrunnergirl 7
Oh ya she has tons of imaginary friends. But mr. Toilet is her favorite. She can tell him all her problems and flush em' down as if they never happened!
Nyolia 11
I wonder if she has looked into the mirror lately.
blondie1208 17
cat must be a good listener :)
loveagoodlaugh 0
Haha i agree :) we should share jokes and fmls!
captianKool 4
Its because she's to big of a PUSSY to say it to your face :D
hannahtaskey 9
I see what you did there.
captianKool 4
I used capitols to really sell the point
EPICROCKERNINJA 8
LOL..
Hmmm_ok 0
Lol your mom likes pussy more than she likes you... Sad
mchakkiwala 0
you're copying my picture biatch I'm gonna sue you!!
freezerburnt 3
The cat whisperer gossips?