Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
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Top comments
accioshannon 17
That sounds catastrophic.
buckdharma 38
i know...i know. im a copy cat.
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Comments (60)
lovelyheadache 16
Aw sorry that happened OP, maybe mom will lay off the drinking after the morning hits her.
AbstraktThoughts 13
Op should record her mom and put together a mix tape when she has enough drunken rants ;)
HahaHokayThen 10
Tsk tsk, haven't fed the cat in so long that you forgot you had one.
sens3sfailing 25
Yes #1, because so many people stop drinking because they can't stand the hangover...they say they will never drink again...then they drink again...
desoto96 9
Am I the only one who immediately thought of Bill Cosby?
lovelyheadache 16
Well sorry #37, I was being hopeful. The sarcasm was unnecessary.
sens3sfailing 25
Sarcasm is never unnecessary! What are you talking about?! *mops up the puddle of sarcasm* seriously, it's sarcasm on the Internet from a guy you don't know, why do you give a shit what I think? I know I don't give a shit what I think..,wait...
jimwsssnn 11
Think of it this way #37 is a ass
accioshannon 17
That sounds catastrophic.
Charmillionaire 13
No no wait I have one. Uh... pussy... heh.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Looks like the cat's out of the bag.
Charmillionaire 13
You hurt my felines, man :( Howzat?
hannaaaahr 33
you gotta be kitten me!
loserboii 11
Well this thread put me in a catatonic state of mind.
accioshannon 17
So, you guys can't let one pun come and go?
hannaaaahr 33
34 - NO! the thought alone makes me fur-ious!
mazzera_fml 7
You've got to be kitten me right meow.
guiltySnake 16
Well played.
Chanti_fml 26
Look what the cat dragged in...
buckdharma 38
look what the cat dragged in.
buckdharma 38
i know...i know. im a copy cat.
newbiehere99 6
Mom wants her pussy fed ...
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Too far.
XxskyelovexX 13
Someone sounds like an angry drunk
007type 26
Pussy?
FMLKitten 15
You called?
007type 26
That was easy..
newbiehere99 6
Hahahha this just made my night :)
Trix_Disorder 20
Who made the cat call?
RussianFox 13
Sorry am I late to the party?
FMLKitten 15
Hey, at least she hasn't thrown up... Yet.
heythere131630 9
Use this opportunity as an excuse to buy a cat!