jobless
France
Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Anon
Canada
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Anonymous
Excuses, excuses
Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Boyufd
Show and tell
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
oops
Victoria, Canada
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
20month dry spell
Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Bill
United States
White lie
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Anonymous
Netherlands
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Top comments
infantrygirl 0
Oh, shut up. If you can't stand to be with a girl who has morals, you don't deserve her.
popcorn_fml 0
it may be hard for some of you to believe but you CAN have a relationship without sex.
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Comments (162)
tobikuma 0
I'm a 17 year old male and my plans are to wait for the right person. Last year I dumped my boyfriend because he kept pushing me to do sexual things with him and refused to understand that "I'm not ready" meant no. I have nothing against people wanting sex lives but seriously, you should give your significant other some respect. If they're not ready, then you should respect that. If you push them they could do things they later regret and do you honestly want to become someone's regret? If the answer is "I don't care" or "yes" then I feel sorry for your relationships.
Anteezy 7
You're not waiting for the right person you're afraid your anus will get hurt.
ilovejustin4ever 0
if you love her dont rush her into anything or you will loose her..... she will do more than that when she feels she is ready.....
hilhal 0
dump someone because they don't have sex with you? you ppl are ridiculous! you aren't supposed to have sex until marriage! your a bunch of sex crazed pervs
gkings18 1
your a nut
thatFLYkidd 0
Well, if you have a hand, and an internet connection, what are you worried about?!
caitlinh12345 0
maybe shes not comfortable with it? get over it. if it's such a big deal, break up with her
rhirhi 0
maybe she thinks dicks are yuk, i no some girls who are straight an think that
newmanlyman3 8
who gives a dick?? not you!! lolz lolz!!!
StephanieClair 0
maybe she has morals. unlike most of yal.
BetterIfIStay09 0
to everyone who said he should dump her: what the ****. seriously. why would you dump someone just because they wont touch you? thats the stupidest thing ive ever heard. sure, according to social norms, after a year youd think something wouldve happened, but guess what? not everyone likes or is comfortable with what you like or are comfortable with and not everyone acts on social norms. stop assuming they either do or should. to the op: talk to her. she has her reasons for not touching you, whatever they may be. if its something ridiculous (eg, "i only touch penises with roses growing out of them"), then yeah, maybe you should move on. but my guess is that she has some sort of legitimate reason, like shes just not ready or shes waiting for marriage. you said she touched you once on purpose, so im guessing either she didnt like it, she feels guilty, she felt pressured, whatever. but talk to her before you go bitching about her to a bunch of strangers on the internet.
54754N4 14
Respect mate
ipwnnoobz 0
dude same story but I've shagged my gf and I'm fourteen op is a loser we are such pimps