jobless
France
Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anon
Canada
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Anonymous
Excuses, excuses
Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Boyufd
Show and tell
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
oops
Victoria, Canada
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
20month dry spell
Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Bill
United States
White lie
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Anonymous
Netherlands
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Top comments
infantrygirl 0
Oh, shut up. If you can't stand to be with a girl who has morals, you don't deserve her.
popcorn_fml 0
it may be hard for some of you to believe but you CAN have a relationship without sex.
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Comments (162)
24788 7
Find someone that's into the same things as you.
amandaMALICE 0
wow. thats like, wow. I agree with the people who say that's craziness. nd ima chick.
LutherTE 0
Maybe she's waiting for marriage. Quit being selfish.
gkings18 1
waiting for marriage is selfish
dramaqueen0704 0
No it's not it's smart sex just complicates things for everyone
TheKitsune 0
If you're so miserable with a girl who won't touch you - you should have dumped her a long time ago. If you're happy with her, then shut the hell up with your complaining and respect her wishes.
kayleighcontrol 7
@ #41 -- that is NOT selfish. Sure, she might want to have sex after marriage, fair play to her. You don't have to abstain from touching aswell. I think she's the one being unreasonable, and I am female. You're headed for the bins mate XD
LchTessMnstr 3
Love #8, #10, #18, and #24. If you don't think enough of her to respect her wishes, then you don't deserve her. Oh, poor baby, you're not getting any. Go cry to your mama, and maybe she'll find a nice ***** for ya.
gkings18 1
a ***** for having sex with her bf? lemme guess, American and christian?
melicakes 0
Well, if you think its so bad that its been a year and you havent, why dont you just talk to her about it? Maybe she just wants to wait, and she isnt ready? at least talk to her or something. Dont put it on here.
pianogirl340 0
Wow really... you find that an fml? Go find a slutty girlfriend if that's what you want loser
bigraws23 0
Big deal. I went out with a girl for over sa year, she broke up with me because I wanted to kiss her
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
So, basically... you're a sex-crazed bastard who only likes her for her tightness? I think that sums this up nicely. Now would you please get over yourself?