jobless
France
Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anon
Canada
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Anonymous
Excuses, excuses
Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Boyufd
Show and tell
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
oops
Victoria, Canada
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
20month dry spell
Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Bill
United States
White lie
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Anonymous
Netherlands
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Top comments
infantrygirl 0
Oh, shut up. If you can't stand to be with a girl who has morals, you don't deserve her.
popcorn_fml 0
it may be hard for some of you to believe but you CAN have a relationship without sex.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
dramaqueen0704 0
Amen!!!!
yousself23 0
Now tell me, how does she accidentally touch your penis? O_o you know... Just fell on it or something?
hoofprints 10
I cannot believe this! She should break up with you, she deserves better. It's sick that all you think about is sex. YDI, jerk!
Tempest559 12
Are you sure you're dating?
help_us_lisa 0
You and these skanky 14 year olds are what's wrong with the world. I hope she dumps your ass.
primaballerina12 4
That is your own fault. Man up. She has morals. I don't see how this is worthy of an FML.
trey1414 4
Don't be a pig. Like her for her not sex
Boopycat 15
Maybe you're an asshole OP and she should break up with you
wowonice 7
Honestly, if you expect girls just to 'touch your penis' all the time then you really don't deserve a girl.
Aardvarkuus 4
Lots of couples go that long without having sex, or longer. Though in the context of dating in general it might seem like not enough. Just keep in mind that all relationships are different like people are, and if you aren't compatible in that area just I guess talk with her about it and be honest. If all you wanted was a sexual relationship and didn't make that clear to her, that's messed up. If you want a more balanced sexual/emotional relationship, that's understandable. I don't see how so many people are automatically assuming you're a dick for wanting more. She obviously has a waay different drive than you, or it could be a choice, or some sort of fear, and that's what you need to find out if you don't know already. She could also be asexual, and that's something not a lot of people know about. So yeah, just be respectful and not pushy, and whether or not this is a deal-breaker is up to you.