Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML
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Top comments
chippa 24
OP discovered a cake that they fell madly in love with 8 or more years ago. 8 years ago, they could no longer have this cake or anything else containing dairy products. Today is their 18th birthday. Their family made OP the previously mentioned cake that OP has not been able to eat for 8 years and still cannot eat. OP cried because they can't eat this delicious birthday cake and evidently, their family doesn't know her very well. OP's mom ate a piece of the cake which had a smiley face or something on it. Do you get it now? It's not that hard to understand...
chippa 24
Dude, who cares about the aftermath, eat it anyway.
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Comments (206)
blloyd19 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This makes no sense
quite_bored 9
I know, right?
meepz 0
cake has stuff she cant eat in. she love cake. she cry. etc.
kiik_fml 0
Exactly...how can you like German chocolate cake if your lactose intolerent????
blahzz 4
#27 LOL.
chippa 24
OP discovered a cake that they fell madly in love with 8 or more years ago. 8 years ago, they could no longer have this cake or anything else containing dairy products. Today is their 18th birthday. Their family made OP the previously mentioned cake that OP has not been able to eat for 8 years and still cannot eat. OP cried because they can't eat this delicious birthday cake and evidently, their family doesn't know her very well. OP's mom ate a piece of the cake which had a smiley face or something on it. Do you get it now? It's not that hard to understand...
mageoreh 0
Smiley face? WTF... 'happy part' as in the slice that said happy from happy birthday. stupid bitch
StoryOfTheYear 15
Your parents are either not very smart or complete dickheads
FunkyAndFresh 7
#41 lmao, you tell her :p
sucks4you09 0
priceless
KiddNYC1O 22
lmao 41 owns
thathas2suck 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I agree this makes no sense! op you sound like a spoiled brat!
T1A2Z3 35
Oh my god! She expects a birthday cake she can eat? She must have had everything in life...
KiddNYC1O 22
70's pic lolol
pursey11041996 4
41 is a ******* asshole , gosh , note the sarcasm
BECK_OR 0
hahaha stupidddd ysnk I 5 nim ii b pass out frm vodka in ul b legall doing if as 18 , hehe. even do tanite was shite hehe tWas d lst fee times while LEGAL um 18
KiddNYC1O 22
93 is drunk
Alzied 0
Um... Lactaid pills?
ygdrassil 17
Please delete 93's comment, FML, it was a worthless waste of my time trying to understand what they said. They are of no value of society or to FML.
guckylynn 19
I'm severely lactose intolerant and can eat german chocolate cake so I think OP would have been fine. also lactaid pills work wonders, I can even eat ice cream if I take them.
thetweak70 2
lmao @ 93
pooponyuou 0
I really hope op's a girl cuz you should u should nvr seperate a girl from her chocolate. if op's a boy though, suck it up nd rub some dirt on it.
B4SK3TB4IL 0
FAKE AND GAY
B4SK3TB4IL 0
wow 93, ur splelling suucks
elsnappypickle 0
******* crybaby
TheVariableX 0
Oh boo hoo take your pill and enjoy your cake, there are people out there with real problems that aren't " I can't eat cake feel bad for me"
UnluckyChicka 0
mageoreh- no ur the bitch
Jokro_fml 0
what the hell, that makes no sense
allie2590 31
Ironically, your comment is a waste of time, too.
My2864 1
why would ya cry over cake ... thats what im not getting..
Flutist 3
Op wanted to point out how frustrating not getting what you want is...you don't get the comment, she doesn't get her cake. Touche Op, touche.
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
surprise! here's the happiness to your cake!
hockeyplayer82 0
that's good right now. time to make me some cake
Niaa_fml 0
so does yours
Niaa_fml 0
so does yours
TheNewGuy03 29
@ 100: the first thing i thought of (before considering that op was being a huge bitch baby) was that all they had to do was consume lactase, which enables "lactose-intolerant" people to eat any dairy product they choose. it's simply a lactase deficiency. lactaid is a major option, but any enzyme formula that contains lactase would negate the problem. |the kid|
JuliaM1000 10
Did u know there I'd medicine today for the lactose part?? Ya that's has been here for a while because it's like.. THE 20 CENTURY!!!!! DURRR
ShotCaller82 0
shut up f.cktard
ShotCaller82 0
meant 93, ditect answer didn't work
chokeabitch 0
well, no. because cake has nothing to do with milk.
maskedbunny 0
lactose intoleranc means you can't digest milk well, a milk allergy would prevent you from eating cake. if it's the former, the cake prob won't hurt you. I'm lactose intolerant and eat cake with no issue. if it's an allery, then fyl
smartblonde98 0
21st century 274
ohmygoditsnils 0
Guys, I'm lactose intolerant and regret to tell you that this guy needs to grow a sack and take lactaid, a cheap ass PILL THAT YOU CAN TAKE
NoOneCaresReally 8
#96 no shit Sherlock.
JWebbs01234 1
TO ANYONE WHO MENTIONED THAT LACTOSE INTOLERANCE ISN'T SERIOUS, AND LACTAID PILLS WILL LET YOU EAT DAIRY. This isn't always the case. I am very severely lactose intolerant (not a milk allergy, LACTOSE INTELOERANCE) and Lactaid pills don't do anything for it. I can't eat dairy, unless it's the smallest amount. The worst part of it is the cake... Trust me, I should know. OP isn't being whiny; Their parents are ignorant assholes if they didn't know that she couldn't eat her favourite cake, or possibly just didn't care. I can feel OP's pain, due to the fact that my favourite cake is Ice Cream Cake, especially the fudge part. If I could have a cake made entirely out of that fudge and cookie crumbles, I would probably die of happiness. However, I rarely have it because
JWebbs01234 1
Sorry, didn't get a chance to finish, my computer did something funny. But anyways, you get the point. Sometimes lactaid does nothing, and there's nothing you can do about it.
shadowrider879 4
He liked it before then
SOILEDIT 51
This got REALLY long.
puffydude1 0
what?
Palmless 0
Wait. New FML update? Is all fixed? No keyboard still showing after posting? D;
hahafylop 4
oh haha I l always thought that was just me :D
Siji 0
Eat it, and shit ALL OVER THEM
rwctkd95 0
lmfao should ate it n crap it later
Tweety122888 0
I know right?! LOL
saxman45 0
Totally worth it
bwhahaha_fml 10
lol. parenting fail
jpark5 0
nvm not first...stupid refresh
chippa 24
Dude, who cares about the aftermath, eat it anyway.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Agreed. :)
Ryan55 0
just take some of the pills that help digest lactose.....? that's what my brother does
CaptSkippy 9
amen!
TheDrifter 24
There is very little milk in a proper german chocolate cake. It's not milk chocolate and the fudge isn't made with milk. Trust me on this, large people know their cakeology.
Erindub 0
Why would you cry though??? Really
kamkak 0
I don't see the FML. Just take the lactase pills and eat the cake...
Galex7471 4
That was my thought process, I'm lactose intolerant and if I want to eat something with a lot of lactose in it I take a double dose of lactase supplement and a dose of Imodium before eating it. Works like a charm for most stuff. There's also a ton of dairy stuff out there with lactase supplements already added in, so if I'm making stuff on my own that's dairy rich I use that stuff and there isn't even a need to pop a couple of pills beforehand. If she's been lactose intolerant for 8 years I really can't imagine her *not* having any of this stuff hanging around the house. If she had a milk allergy/intolerance, this would be more understandable but lactose intolerance is so common that there's a ton of options out there for her that this doesn't make sense.
bmexoxo98 0
that's what I thought! just take the damn pill:)
randomnameflob 0
How do you love chocolate if youre lactose intolerant?
medfly 2
chocolate doesn't have to contain lactose at all. only if you mix it with dairy products.
MaxSnacks 0
Wtf? You just made yourself sound like a complete dumbass.
peacelovekat 0
no I didn't I was sooner than u
purplemnm 9
you're fake
Alphonsuuuu 0
Erm, no. The 'happy' was not candy. It was frosted on the slice that OP's mom ate.
VelvetRain 6
Everyone loves chocolate.
torrea 19
Says they been lactose intolerant for 8 years so they must have tried chocolate before that.
TheOriginalKyrs 0
That sucks. But still, crying over cake? A little ridiculous.
blueforensics 10
I cry because I have an allergy to strawberries. They smell so sweet and I know they taste so good. And the emotions can be so overwhelming that it can cause tears