Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
jvibertyo 0
hahaha sucks op
genesisnirvana 11
At least it worked?
marinus_fml 20
^^ That comment is suspiciously very similar to #3. You're pretty original bro..! I'm not gonna hit YDI because I also like to give people frights, but I'm gonna say it sucks to be you that you got beat up by a girl.
genesisnirvana 11
Actually I didn't realize that until it was too late for me to make another comment.But thanks for pointing out the obvious.
ShadowLuffer 0
No shit it sucked. LOL. =^.^=
rallets 23
nevermind
fakeaccountX 6
Achievement Unlocked: Bruised Ballsack
Kyzahhh 7
If OP's friend was chuck Norris this story would of never been told
fakeaccountX 6
Maybe the girl's friend was Chuck Norris...
rallets 23
the friend was a girl, i wrote a chuck norris joke but realized that haha
LiveLaughFML 10
a real trickster knows to never pop up in front of someone, because then they're instincts react. & you wouldn't want to end up like OP. xD
LiveLaughFML 10
*their
Deathhound 27
That's what you get for sneaking up behind :P
Jovecove 13
When I saw ' tried to scare ' at the start of the fml, I already knew this is a YDI.
Daralea 21
haha, my sister tried to do that to me once...she learned quickly just how hard I punch when I think I'm being attacked -_-
madaoxsan 9
@ 28 very nice...what game is that from????
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
hellbilly205 17
Doesnt that suck op, thats what you get for sneaking up on someone...
leadman1989 16
Yes what a dumb ass trying to have fun with a friend. -___- The worst part is you ALL have done this at some point.
SirObvious 1
FINISH HIM!!
hemz_fml 13
If you knew all that what did you think would happen? She isn't going to scream like a school girl, she's going kick some ass
meperson77 1
My thoughts exactly.
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
waswashere 0
Very nice!
Bowser6622 5
Jason. It's not Friday the 13th.
tigerlilypop 7
It's also not friday.. Or the 13th! :o hahahahhahaha
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Obvious much, 48?
upyourzlolz 11
TINY TOWER!!! best icon ever.
Bowser6622 5
True, true.
rexgar2000 10
damn dude, I dnt know what's worse the fact that you got owned or the fact that it was by a girl. Fyl
iEatGuppies 0
OP deserves his ball sacks bruised for trying to scare someone who's in martial arts. sexist much?
SimpleMinds_fml 7
Actually, women are usually smarter with language skills and men are usually smarter in mathematics. There is not a definitive smarter sex. By the way I'm not pulling those facts of my ass, they have actually studied that. It is also known that men are athletically stronger, that's the reason men have higher requirements for physical tests. Sorry for the long ass comment, im Just saying
StopDropNRoll 11
There are women out there who are stronger than like 95% of men. It just depends on what two people you are comparing. But yes a man has more muscle mass than a women about the same size and with the same amount of exercising.
Taylorrr005 0
I'm sure there's a girl out there that can beat any mans ass. Including yours.
rexgar2000 10
most of the time that a guy gets his ass kicked by a girl is because the guy held back and wont hit the girl because then all hell breaks loose if they do. just saying
madaoxsan 9
@93 also, apparently women have a higher threshhold for pain, so I read. hence their ability to go through childbirth and other routine painful shit (see: horrible menstrual pain). That can be considered strength..? but yeah..no gender is "smarter". Haha most people don't even realize that there are different forms of "intelligence". You can't even measure it by an IQ test, which only test some of the more standard, "useful", and "show-able" forms of intellect.
thericcanator 4
Your a pig, I'm a martial artiest and I bet I can beat your sorry ass Rexgar2000
nadhirah 4
Hope you learnt your lesson. :) and get well soon dear OP :)
Zombielanddd 7
nut up or shut up?
xx255q 0
I don't feel sorry for him, he knew the damage she could due to him, the FML is him bening a idiot
Awesomeelliot 11
you spelled the word "do" wrong....isnt that like a word you learn in kindergarten?....just sayin
takanuva0123 0
You didn't use capitals nor did you use correct punctuation. Just saying? This place isn't made for people to correct each other's spelling mistakes. This is a place of laughter.
Jesus_Christ69 0
His comment nor your comment made me laugh.. Are you lying to me sir?
xocutexofunnyxo 5
Somebody gets it...
decidedlyvague 11
What the **** is a bening?
BloodyDraven 0
well, according to ur spelling, sir, the damage was due to him that make u laugh 69, lmfao
bunnixbrutality 5
7- your stupid arnt you? Didnt u realize that if he knew it beforhand he woulnt have done it. It is possible if he didnt know untill after the fact. The op clearly states new friend
bellakaykid 6
Its like when Spongebob tries to sneak up on Sandy to karate chop her. He never wins. Let this be a lesson.
Meemin 5
Don't try to scare girls like that. They'll mess you up.
adris_fml 1
jajajaja.. yes it's usually the tiniest girls who kick the hardest.. :)
vanillagirl 0
cuz the tiniest girls are the ones who always need to be prepared...for anything :)
HeyImJuli 3
YDI for trying to scare a karate kid *eye roll* that was dumb
False_Stupidity 42
OP may not have known before hand that she was so into martial arts.. she was a 'new' friend after all.