Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
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Top comments
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
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Comments (142)
minaza79 0
Lmfao
Crazyforcheese 6
I agree your life sucks but at the same time , you totally deserved it :/
xocutexofunnyxo 5
So True
Jazzgirl101 12
LOL YDI
hamncheeseinit 6
Sex must suck
CharlotteRx 4
Hahaha I like your friend! She knows how to take care of herself.
leadman1989 16
I think if this was a girl scaring a guy no one would be telling her how she deserved to have her boobs stomped in. The guy was just trying to make fun, if the result hadn't been so painful they probably would gave had a good laugh.
KnucklesDeep 5
You are a dumbfuck. A total and utter dumbfuck. End your life now because it will not be a good one.
FajitaFreak 3
So she beats him up, admittedly with a justifiable cause that turned out to be unwarranted, and it's his fault? Huh? If a girl tried this, and the boyfriend beat her up in the same way, he'd go to ******* jail. Would you people stop with the motherfucking double standards and hypocrisy? It really pisses me off. He did not deserve this.
some_girl9 8
You are an idiot if you really believe that. He walked right into this one because he snuck up behind her, and she acted on instinct. Are you saying she was wrong to defend herself when she thought she was being attacked?
FajitaFreak 3
I am saying that if a girl did this to a guy, and the guy reacted the same way, he'd be in jail.
madaoxsan 9
think: at what point of this in depth beating did she not realize it was him? seriously. and a guy would not/could not get away with this.
madaoxsan 9
ok... I just saw he was wearing a mask....partly deserved. though I still think if roles were switched there'd be a lawsuit at least
systim30 1
you really earned that one ... dumbass
kouklistax3 2
One time I scared the security guard at my job. He screamed like a little girl. That's on my list of achievements considering he was a big ass dude.