Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
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Top comments
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
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Comments (142)
BadAsCactus 7
That is one badass chick
Nana_2000 4
:)
Leo_C_fml 0
#68: No, smart one, they're saying that if the genders were reversed in OP's post, the guy would've went to jail for acting on instinct. But the fact that it was a guy that got his ass handed to him by a girl makes it funny. Double standards much?
some_girl9 8
Women don't go near you, do they? Virgin.
philitron128 0
Tsk tsk tsk OP, you never sneak up on a ninja, they just wait for you to get closer ;)
dansco 25
Serves you right dumbass lmao
raveloki123 0
I imagine you to be a redneck stupid mother bich
swinglifeaway123 8
Well.. If she jumped before kicking your ass, then at least you succeeded.
EvanAGD 7
Good job. You scared her.
professorxfm 7
You are responsible for your actions. Deal with it.
reborne 9
Martial arts aren't just there to teach you how to handle yourself, they're also supposed to teach you self control and to assess a situation before reacting. If she freaks out and acts so easily she's also failed all the training she's had - she should have been able to stop at the very least after the first hit. This just says she has no self-control and I actually sympathise with OP.