Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
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Top comments
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
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Comments (142)
TheDrummingResul 0
So you're a dumbass then..
paige99100 0
It worked tho ! But that was dumb
thiscrazything 1
YDI. Betcha don't try that again. A friend did that to me once, and they got a maglight across the face.
d33emar 0
Sure...
viciouspanda 0
Haha well done.
Scooter42 15
Sounds like she needs to learn some self control. Real self defence and most martial arts that aren't right by sadists teach you to stop when you are no longer in danger. Any one of those injuries should have been enough. Legally you can charge her with assault, but that would ruin the friendship. I recommend she tend to all three wounds herself.
abouttofly 12
A broken nose or rib isn't necessarily going to stop an attacker. Plus she probably caused all the injuries in a short amount of time, while she was still frightened. I have no idea if her actions could be legally considered assault, but I hope you understand that it's problematic to prosecute women for fighting back. When someone jumps you, you don't have time to think about how to do enough damage so he is incapacitated, but not too much so you won't face legal trouble. I believe it's better to err on the side of letting women defend themselves.
johnnie254 7
Finish him! Fatality!
no_namer386 5
OP just made a taunt and the "victim" made a 99 hit combo with a Perfect Win...
tokerbabe420 0
awesome.
skatergirl33 0
dont ever mess wit a lil chick! they have ninja like skills! :3