Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
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Top comments
yerawizardlizzy 27
Here's what my self-defense coach taught my class: Any minor injury you receive in self-defense is much better than a major injury, or even death, from not defending yourself. In reality you probably would have knocked out your attacker, or at least disoriented them enough to get away. You dislocated your shoulder, but you got away alive, right? It's not very likely you'll ever escape an attack completely unharmed, so don't sweat it. Yeah it sucked that it happened in class, but you know what you need to do.
bbambastic 16
It took an hour just to pop your shoulder back in?
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Comments (51)
Enkeria 30
Cheer up OP! It could have been a lot worse. Feel better soon!
TeasinDaNoobs 16
Ouch OP! At least now you know you're a hard hitter!
bbambastic 16
It took an hour just to pop your shoulder back in?
yerawizardlizzy 27
Probably not. Probably accounting for waiting time.
ohkitty 21
I'm guessing it's the wait in the ER that took up most of the hour
leagacysgirl 19
I believe for liability issues they have to do X-rays first to rule out any fractures or obstructions before popping bones back in.
katertott 44
That makes sense. Personally, I'd be afraid to leave it untreated so long for fear of prolonging the pain and worsening the damage. Athletes can usually get away with doing it immediately, but I can see how a self-defense class mishap would require a more careful evaluation.
Anikaaaaa 31
#3 That's what I was thinking as well! My shoulder has been dislocated on I think 6 occassions over the past 4 years, and I've always managed to pop it back myself within 5 minutes.
Scotth901 22
Same. My mom taught me the old; "extend arm, turn counter-clockwise" trick. Always popped in within 5 minutes or so
risher01 16
If you hit so hard you dislocated your shoulder, does that make you weak or strong?
gracehi 33
Why not both?
militarybrat 21
They could have eds. In that case, it is simply in their genes. This would probably happen to me, but i dislocate my ankle stepping off a curb.
PencilTips 19
Ways to prevent dislocating the shoulder is working and exercising the shoulder muscle. It just means you have weak shoulders.
BizzyTink 8
that is something I would do
TheAspieDork 27
Seems like your luck ran out...or popped out.
abbyade 21
Lol sorry op. I found this funnier than I should have.
football98_fml 20
Must've been a pretty hard hit
Mightyrif 23
It actually can be seen that your punch was so strong it dislocated a shoulder!... albeit yours but still!
Dawnoftime 12
Congratulations, you played yourself.