Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
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Top comments
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
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Comments (142)
abouttofly 12
You think that was just some harmless fun? Try thinking about it from her point of view. A strange man sneaks up behind her wearing a mask. She has no idea who you are or what you're going to do to her. Even if she didn't attack you, it would still be a stupid thing to do because she would most likely be terrified.
jerico616 14
You chose to sneak up on a girl that has multiple martial arts championships??? Are you STUPID?!?!?! You deserve every bit of what you got!
888Allis888 3
Hahah...^^ You will laugh of this after a while. It was funny. Sorry you got hurt. And all you gays that complain about her control... 1 he come from behind. 2 i bet he grabed at her 3 and made a sudden and sharp nois 4 he had a mask. All of this are element of suprise and each of them alone can be enough to scare people. The first two hist was most likly done while she was turning towards him. When she saw the mask she must have been even more scared. Andrenalin, instinct and reflexes work real fast. In training everything is expected, out side it is not. And by the way, many girls is raised to the thought of being attacked. We know this deep down. Don't blame us for that. Sorry for the long comment. I am sorry OP got hurt. But think about it; if you had got it on tape, it would almost have been whort the pain.^^
BeibertSmitor 10
As someone who does this to martial artists on a regular basis, I suggest 3 things. 1) Be ready! Science tells us that no matter what, action time is faster than reaction time, so when you make your move, you make her turn then JUMP BACK! Give them a moment to get oriented. 2) Know a way of getting the upperhand without hurting them back. While you aren't going to win a fight, always know if your victim is ticklish if they are female, it goes for miles, and usually means they won't be fighting you for long, instead they'll figure out that you don't need killing, while defending yourself will likely just make their adrenaline keep pumping. 3) Protection. I usually only do this with my brother's chain mail shirt, and ready to defend my "nether regions". In your case, wear an actual padded mask, and a cup.
briaa23 4
um that is why you don't sneak up on ppl gosh did your mother not teach you that??
X_Babushka65 5
I personally don't think she was wrong for doing that, especially if there weren't many people around and it was night time. If there were people around and it was daytime, she could have stopped after one hit to assess the situation. One time, my brother sneaked up on me from behind with a mask on after we'd watched a scary movie (I was sketchy because I kept thinking something was behind me after watching it and it was night time) and he then learnt just how hard I can punch when I feel threatened >.< I didn't break anything, though. I was a lot younger and weaker than I am now.
KruCut 7
Perhaps next time choosing a simpler "surprise-snake-in-a-can" prank... over the "surprise-rapist-in-a-mask-at-11:30pm-on-a-wednesday-night-in-an-empty-parking-lot" gag, would have been more of a friendly jolt and warranted less of a beating?? In my humble opinion... Maybe it's just me, I don't know.
notsorandomguy 18
Okay, so pretty much everyone here, and OP's friend react to being scared by someone with a mask with a 3-hit combo smash "on reflex"? Jeez, I take martial arts, and I never knew that in America there was martial art training to react to a masked friend...
sourn 2
i agree with 105 that much training she should've been easily able to subdue you without causing so much pain. also i agree with some others if this was vice-versa you'd still probably take her side.
adritha13 0
That is why you dont sneak up on women.