Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML
Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML
Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
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Top comments
DirtyPicture_fml 0
Dumbass -__-
orphinz 3
On the bright side... It worked?
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Comments (142)
BroSkii69 8
Achievements? What is this, xbox live?
92910bg 4
Yes
humorizer 14
You're an idiot. Did you pay a monthly fee? No? Then it's obviously Playstation Network or Wii "online".
IDontKnow10101 14
Wii never have and never will have achievements
harrywestt 0
Lol would of never thought of that one
trooper250 0
Someones been playing too much video games
PocketRockette 0
Girl power.......it's a doozy
stephen0819 0
Smooth move, Daniel-San
k1ngd1ck 0
That's what u get for making new friends
UnfOrg1ven 1
how's that bad? Imake new friends but I dont scare them or prank them
ShadowLuffer 0
Never EVER try to scare a girl. It'll scare us, but we'll take our revenge. Hard.
ImInABox 6
Bahahahahahahaha... I laugh at your pain obviously. You don't scare girls. It's almost guaranteed that you'll get a swift kick to the balls.
Cheesey_Dorito 11
"Oh no this man scared me! Better make him sterile to teach a lesson!" Shut the **** up
wisericky 12
She falls under the "Crazy Bitch" category, dont **** with her.
Emmy_The_Great 2
U mad?
endlessman 0
I guess you could say she *puts on sun glasses* rocked your balls
Slimma 20
You deserved this one completely. Its a lot better attempting to scare your older friends than a brand new one because at least then you know what they could do to you if you succeed.