Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sopron, Hungary
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Angela17
Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML
I don't know, son
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
DENTALITY
Norway
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
independant
Corvallis, United States
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Fffhjno
Providence, United States
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
possiblyoverweight
United Kingdom
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
ButWhy
Berlin, Germany
Kinda weird
Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML
Top comments
ohhoho 2
You failed as a parent...
startafire 0
There are worse things for your son to be sucking on before he sleeps.
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Comments (179)
Omnigeek6 1
This isn't necessarily a parenting fail. OP's son could be mentally ill.
koifish81 0
this is the biggest bullshit fml ever
Erindub 0
Live and let live yo. To each their own and all that others BS.
mizanonymous 0
I used to suck my thumb at night until I was about twelve. Why did I stop? My mom gave me a dvd player. So the secret to good parenting... Bribes!
pkshanepk 0
FAKE, look at this persons other FML stories
ScaryyMary 14
He's just rolling. It'll pass...
EmoKidsFail 0
lmao, that's what I was gonna say.
YayAmerica 0
It's pretty unlikely that there is ANY sexual context to this. It's just an oral fixation, like nail biting or gum chewing, only a lot stronger.
sportsnut 0
YDI for not trying to cut the umbilical cord until the ****** was 20! you do know that you have ruined his life and he is never going to lose his virginity or move out of your house...right?
Christina21 2
Why are you tryna stop him now? You shoulda been did that a long time ago!
Sorceress0209 0
What you need to do in give him something else that will make him feel better to have with him to sleep.