Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sopron, Hungary
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Angela17
Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML
I don't know, son
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
DENTALITY
Norway
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
independant
Corvallis, United States
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Fffhjno
Providence, United States
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
possiblyoverweight
United Kingdom
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
ButWhy
Berlin, Germany
Kinda weird
Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML
Top comments
ohhoho 2
You failed as a parent...
startafire 0
There are worse things for your son to be sucking on before he sleeps.
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Comments (179)
disney_blonde 16
Maybe you should have tried to get rid of it a bit earlier, let's say 18 years ago.
SillyPoop 0
No Pussy for this one. Was this planned by Mommy? Probably!
crash52181 0
You must be one of those crazy bitches who breastfed your kids until they were like 12...it's your fault that he's like that.
lostfaithinpppl 19
+1 Wow, OP! You fail as a parent on so MANY levels.
SillyPoop 0
Mommy Planned for this one! She wants to have her son forever!
aback 5
Swap it out for one that's shaped like a penis. Then make him get a job and move out.
sammy6597 0
you must be some parent..
KimsMommy 0
I would deffinitely date your son if I wasn't married. We had to take my husband's temp one time, and all we had was our daughter's pacifier thermometer, so we used that. I f**ked the s**t out of him afterwards.
FsoberLife 0
Maybe the 20yr old being refered in the kids section that still has a pacifier is mentally ill. I think OP would have mentioned that but embarassment and stigma still have their place. At the age of 20 I know I was far more interested in sucking my girlfriends' nipples, not their plastic analogs. It's time for jr. to grow up, unless he is ill, or an avid candy raver.
Fuckimlazy 0
YDI for failing as a parent
thinmint 0
Lmao at "why's your clit the size of a pacifier?"! But seriously that's phallic, your son likes dick.