Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sopron, Hungary
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Angela17
Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML
I don't know, son
Toronto, Canada
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
DENTALITY
Norway
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
independant
Corvallis, United States
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Fffhjno
Providence, United States
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
possiblyoverweight
United Kingdom
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
ButWhy
Berlin, Germany
Kinda weird
Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML
Top comments
ohhoho 2
You failed as a parent...
startafire 0
There are worse things for your son to be sucking on before he sleeps.
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Comments (179)
jweezy101 0
The one good thing about this is that pacifiers are meant to simulate sucking a nipple so maybe he will be really good at sucking ****. maybe, it's a long shot though.
MasterConan 0
when he's not around, go cut off the tip of the pacifier. then he can't suck on it.
cody96 0
try soaking it in vinegar...it worked for me when I was 2...or simply hide it or throw it away!
x_Mikomi_x 0
Uhm..you realise he should've been weened offof these when he was 2 or 3, right..? I think you've babied your son too much and need to give him a good talking to..
ellawea 0
that's really sad. i feel bad for you. no comment otherwise.
Jokaka 0
can't be true
doorbellgirl 0
i loved my pacifier i had over 20 and my mom would would attach as many pacifiers to my clothes until there was no room one day my mom took all of my pacifiers and hid them i woke up screaming and it was a week before we moved back to america (i lived in africa) but a few years ago my family got an email from our old landlord that says he found 26 pacifires laying around the house in random places the point is to try hiding the pacifire
md427 0
This is more MLIA than FML.
lerosa 0
brilliant work!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!
brutal_banger 10
cut the umbilical cord already