Angela17
Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
abt2bsingle
Cardiff, United Kingdom
I can't win
Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML
Kymberly Hams
Australia
Creative
Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML
Anonymous
Thomasville, United States
That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
KayyElOh94
United States
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Birdman
How sweet
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
finalyearsofhate
Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML
Eringobrag88
United States
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Anonymous
Lufkin, United States
Why now?
Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML
facepalm
Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML
Anonymous
El Paso, United States
Strange parenting
Today, for the fourth day in a row, my nine year-old son dragged his feet when it’s bedtime with any excuse he can come up with. He keeps getting up an hour later to tell me a story. No punishment, nothing works. I gave up and offered him $300, yes $300 cash, to go to sleep. He said no and ran to bed crying, saying I upset him. FML
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Give him a clean one to play with, and tell him the poop is invisible. Kids are stupid enough to fall for that.
whiskey'swino 15
Annnnd that's birth control for me, thanks OP!!
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Comments (11)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Give him a clean one to play with, and tell him the poop is invisible. Kids are stupid enough to fall for that.
RichardPencil 32
Plot twist: He’s 27.
whiskey'swino 15
Annnnd that's birth control for me, thanks OP!!
skippydoda 32
My son has cried because he can't play with his penis, a plastic bag, garbage, the kitty. You name it he's probably cried about it.
kirby1964 20
Probably has a room full of toys, and what does he want to play with? Hehe
mike3775 39
My kids cried because I wouldn’t let them play with an empty pill bottle, a piece of paper, a coaster, their penis, a blanket, a light switch, etc. Everything is a toy to a baby, and they will cry if they can’t play with it.
LadyRen 20
Kids: why I don’t want them
anon430 20
So this wasn't' in the "having kids brochure" you received?
Stephanie Claire 12
I’m glad I won’t be having kids
believekimber 8
This is only the beginning...