Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML
Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Kinda weird
Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML
Top comments
ohhoho 2
You failed as a parent...
startafire 0
There are worse things for your son to be sucking on before he sleeps.
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Comments (179)
moogie0221 3
Does he wet the bed too ?
MrCanoe 5
Well congrats your son will be one of those freaks who can only have sex if he's dressed up and treated like a baby
Melly18 0
EW!!!!
brokenstrides 0
NEWS ALERT: He's only sucking on the pacifier so he doesn't grind his teeth from meth or ecstacy. He's not emotionally disturbed, just a drug addict. :)
ThreadingFate 0
This is what you call an EPIC FAIL in parenting. Your fault. YDI.
mrsdoctor10 4
i am 25 and still sleep with my teddy bear and blanky. but you are a horrible parent. i got my son off the bottle at 16 months. he threw away his binky at 3 months because he is a tough little ************ your son is a pussy, and i feel sorry for anyone who has ever slept with him, including you.
FML_FYL_2009 0
Yeah.... pacifier at 20? Does he enjoy candy necklaces as well? He's a druggie. I think you need to tell him "Drugs are bad, M'kay?"
krs1234 0
i'm a college student who still has her baby blanket as well.... and i know lots of other people that have blankets or bears from when they were young that still sleep with them. i personally think its our generation... but then again... blankets are different to me than a pacifier
McMonsterMan 1
YDI 'cause you ****** up somewhere.
edeielia 0
Maybe you should try making him live on his own for a bit and THEN wean him...