Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
sabre417 1
some women have periods when they are prego!
mbrooks5110 0
got news 4 u a woman CAN have her period alllllll the way up the the start of her 3rd trimester.
puddy_fml 0
Agreed. I blame your parents for the plague that is you that they have unleashed on the unsuspecting world.
Ukeee_X 19
Or not.
JokerJohn7 0
she didn't want your boner to poke the baby
aaronruark 2
some women have there period through pregnancy some times the whole. time there whole pregnancy its rare but it happens your life sucks
ScreamoGirl84 0
Stop complaining about what you want, and Let your wife do what she wants! Gosshh, Your so stupid! Shes pregno for goodness sakes! Why dont you get off your lazy ass and stop thinking with your dick and do something nice for her! And Atleast you got to have sex with her before! Woww..
kingtz 6
Wow...rage much? Good luck ever finding a guy who'll put up with your attitude...
perdix 31
She's probably tired from ******* the baby's real father and couldn't think of a better excuse to avoid being bothered with your limp noodle.
Spongii101 12
Ahh Perdix. Your comments are brilliant. :)
jingersnap721 0
lol
MrKrumps 5
lol