Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as suggested by the my therapist, I tried practicing mindfulness meditation while on a break at work to reduce stress. Midway through my deep breaths, I accidentally let out a loud and unexpected snore. My coworkers now think I've taken my relaxation techniques to a whole new level. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
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Top comments
tannerianian 11
Being Buddhist myself a big role in it is compassion/forgiveness etc. hopefully everyone there followed that. Otherwise FYL happens to everyone at some point el though OP don't worry(:
beannlove 7
*accidentally let one rip* means OP was not expecting to fart, and it just slipper out on them by surprise..
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Comments (64)
jisaac09 25
You couldn't have excused yourself? I know it would have been rude, but I would think it would have been less rude than this.
beannlove 7
*accidentally let one rip* means OP was not expecting to fart, and it just slipper out on them by surprise..
TheRandomIndian 17
It's the bad energy leaving OPs body
zandalee 20
Happens to me at yoga... Mega embarrassing but unavoidable. ;$
tannerianian 11
Being Buddhist myself a big role in it is compassion/forgiveness etc. hopefully everyone there followed that. Otherwise FYL happens to everyone at some point el though OP don't worry(:
alycion 39
We always have something stupid happen during the silent meditations at our center. It's part of life. My favorite was when the roach started running around on the floor as if daring someone to kill it in front of the monk. And then we had the I e cream truck pull up in front of the open window with the music going for most of the meditation. While compassion and forgiveness are big, I also have learned not to swear the small stuff and just go with the flow from Buddhism. If op did that at my group, people would just go on as if nothing happened. Nobody is out to make someone feel bad there and it is truly the most accepting group of people ever.
perdix 31
Plus, Buddha was a pretty fat dude himself, so we can only assume he blasted a few beauties back in his day.
conqueror57 11
Buddha was NOT fat. The fat man depicted in carvings is Bodhisattva Maitreya. THE Buddha was an Indian Prince Sidhartha who was in fact skinny.
TheDrifter 24
It's the universe testing how well you are centered. Find peace and just let the stress slide on out.
gc327072 31
No Perdix that's Toota
conqueror57 11
Gee, sorry. Forgetting a "d" is by far the gravest sin I could have committed. Please forgive me.
tannerianian 11
Not true. Siddartha is Buddha and is skinny for the most of his life. "Fat Buddha" is bouddie the Chinese god of luck
conqueror57 11
I was correcting common misinformation. You were correcting a silly typo. There is a difference. Plus, it was not meant to be forceful, just no way to do italics on my phone.
guitarbeast 22
Well if it could fall a charging rhino, hopefully it could fall your charging classmates who want to get you for all that methane you forced into their lungs during the exercise
MeLikeBigBoom 8
If it could do that to a charging rhino, what would happen to a person? Oh god...
eericcartman 5
Blame it on the charging rhino...
cass1_l0ve 13
Please, if it could fall a charging rhino, then it probably knocked them all out. Then all you can hope for is that when they fall over, they hit their head and loose all memory of your awesome fart. Yup.
Zeurakules 5
Blame it on the guy next to you
Catkam623 27
The super fart returns.
asb818 14
What a great way to test if everyone is focused enough to keep their breathing silent.
maosquare 18
Bake beans too, for that matter.