Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
valri3 0
Can someone get pregnant again, while being pregnant?
dirtyblond 4
Yes, if the man has sexual intercourse with a pregnant woman, the pregnant woman's child will now become pregnant as well. It's like a cycle. The more you know!;)
mfmylifesrsly 30
or if they have two vaginas!
Mach10 0
Sort-of. Fraternal twins come from discrete fertilized eggs; but since ovulation is typically due to hormone levels during her cycle, the woman will ovulate both eggs at nearly the same time--and ovulation (among other things) comes to a screeching halt once the zygote implants into the uterine lining.
RainbowHeadache 2
Yeah you can. I saw a documentary on a woman who was 5 weeks pregnant when she managed to get pregnant again. Making it fraternal twins. There are only a handful of reported cases but it can happen.
IbanezSprinter 0
yes it's possible...there are case where the woman had an affair shortly after having sex with her husband and ended up with twins but of two different fathers
flickyourbic1223 7
157- Like a litter of kittens.
myownenemy 0
not usually
FYLDeep 26
CTFD, it's not like it's that big of a deal. I'm guessing she probably doesn't feel real comfortable and sex is probably the last thing on her mind right now, so the least you can do is not be a little bitch.
GabbyCharityM 0
OP is an idiot. Woman dont have the urge for sex when theyre pregnant. You should know this.
mfmylifesrsly 30
not true. it differs. I know some women who would make their husbands bang them multiple times a day when pregnant
TheDrifter 24
True 36. My wife wanted it desperately at random moments at least once a day throughout her pregnancy.
RainbowHeadache 2
All I want is sex & I'm 3 months preg. lol
dudeitsdanny 10
I need a pregnant girlfriend. Seven months without sex and counting. But you didn't need to do that. Anyway, yes, women's hormones go nuts during a pregnancy: Some want nothing to do with a penis, some want nothing but, so to speak.
Sniper_Fidelis 1
76-Lmao you must be doing it wrong if she doesn't want it
iamtwiggyme 0
Same here 64! That's what I've been craving the most since I got pregnant!
mariazzz 5
I couldn't get enough of sex when I was preggers. However for me it happened after the first trimester...
dudeitsdanny 10
93- No, but nice try. We've been dating for less than a month, and there's issues involved that mean I may not get any till mid-June, or there could be some serious trouble. I'm talking sex offender status. And no, she's not a kid, lol, she's 25 tomorrow. It was a joke, anyway.
LaChicaBonita 0
wow, obviously you've never had a kid- you're just assuming that. actually, when a women is pregnant their hormones are on the rise so sex can sometimes be more pleasure able. pregnant women love good sex
prettygurl89 16
Ummm actually our sex drive is higher because of all the hormones. Well mine was anyway...
logas 0
she doesnt like you
rachm15 0
oh that's messed up I'm sorry man.
ceddyz17 10
agreed
panzer1102 0
maybe she ain't preggo...
jsmn2010 0
women can have their periods up to six months into a pregnancy or beginning of second trimester. maybe u should read the baby books ;) jerk.
bsmith9942 11
actually some women bleed the whole time
dragonrider1959 18
Doesn't make him a jerk, just means he didn't know. People make mistakes. I'm sure you have
Ren_Baby 0
Not all women stop having their period. Stop being an insensitive dick, and pay attention to your pregnant wife not her ******.
kmarrs 2
I had a couple periods during my first 2 pregnancies. OR She has really bad morning sickness, possible cramping, and is otherwise miserable, but knew only the period line would get you to stop asking because it would (possibly) gross you out.
CommanderNutterB 0
why the hell would you want to have sex with her while she's prego??? that's like having sex with the baby!
catatonicsleep 17
yep, thats really how biology works....
Jaxx66 21
your a moron.
shelbybabyy8 0
Yeah, #43..A man could be hung like a race horse and it still wouldn't touch, hurt and damn sure wouldn't be like having sex with the baby. Just FYI.