Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I came home to my daughter in her room, crying hysterically. She's been asking for a pet monkey for a few weeks, and my husband got tired of it and told her about Travis the Chimpanzee (don't look it up if you're squeamish). Thanks for ruining her innocence, prick. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
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Top comments
TheSuitGuy 0
There's a reason the signs say 'Don't feed the animals'.
MissGreenT 0
guess you could say you had a shitty day? FYL
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Comments (150)
TheSuitGuy 0
There's a reason the signs say 'Don't feed the animals'.
Aha09 1
True. But as #27 said, it looks like the OP is too stupid to follow simple rules. They're there for more than pretty decoration, ya' know?
coolscale 6
crap for a crappy sandwich. what did you expect anyway?
jimjimson 0
What does OP mean?
mushoo_fml 0
OP means that the chimpanzee threw a troll at him.
st87 0
turd sandwich? Anyway... it must have been opposite day =P
Starfire22 5
There needs to be an fml guide to abreviations because this question gets asked way too often...
Dani_Babe 0
LOL!!!
keegs666 0
what does the abbreviation OP mean?!
adzo909 0
that's when the shit hit the man
zolltf 4
OP stands for "ornemental penis". I thought everyone knew that.
blankaex 0
How do you know it was a thank you? It could've been a "Your sandwitch sucks! This tastes better!" *Throws exploding crap*
nairb1997 0
yes
kaycee1996 5
Haha! That's the first thing I thought of when I read this too:D Also no one has actually explained what OP means yet :(
dedanjel 33
Original Poster
SZeth_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Damn that sucks, cant beat that... haha
macgruberiscool 0
lol epic fail
TwitchingNebula 17
Who flung poo?
MissGreenT 0
guess you could say you had a shitty day? FYL
fridalovesyou 0
lol XD You took the words out of my mouth mate. :)
sarcdude 3
aw, I lol'd
EpicJohn 0
hahaha OWNED
vordhosbn 9
"Thanks, I can make good use of that... here's one I made earlier *fling*"
Zazu7711 0
LOL
Towelie_31 0
can you say free souvenier?
whataloadofbull 0
u spelled souvenir wrong
Reese899 0
You spelled YOU wrong.
sarcdude 3
You spelled nothing wrong.
mushoo_fml 0
They didn't spell "nothing".
maeday 0
#64 - intelligence FAIL. It was a joke! A pretty clever one at that.
CitizenSnipz 0
/facepalm
the_raf 0
he didn't like the sammich :(
maxisis_fml 6
Monkeys are horribly evil creatures
rlet 1
you totally deserve it, what kind of example r u giving to ur daughter??? next time READ the signs, the animals don't know if u r trying to be nice or rude to them they just react to whatever happens u threw something to them they r going to deffend themselves by throwing something too...
doomshark101 0
dumb bitch
Spongegar123 19
*Are *You *Your
xenomorph 0
You must have ignored the signs, then, right?