Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I rushed home, barged into the bathroom, and released the biggest, most foul mudmonkeys ever, complete with noises. I came out and my brother and his hot friends, including the one I have a crush on, were all laughing. My brother told me, “Don’t forget to Lysol spray.' FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
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Top comments
simplyn2deep 2
I'll take that experience over my experience: gorilla crap thrown from 10 ft away
Buzzetta 0
What zoo does not have a bathroom? Man up and go to the bathroom and wash your face with soap and water.
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Comments (76)
Unregistered 0
first
CL41RE 0
Ooh f your LIFE. no. More like f six hours of your life. Rarely fmls are really fmls anymore.
anniebananie 3
Were they ever true FMLs? No. That's not what this site is about. This FML is EXACTLY what the site wants. If you'd notice, the title of the home page is "FML: Your everyday life stories". There you go. Nobody wants to hear something like, "Today, I found out I have advanced stage cancer. I have four months to live. FML." This site is not supposed to be depressing, but the opposite.
ReasonsToFly 0
I don't think you get the point at all. The FML is about the ******* monkey peeing on him in front of everyone, not the shower.
djb23 0
god damn, people like you piss me off. people come to this site to share their uncomfortable/awkward moments and maybe get a laugh or two. do their lives really need to reach a certain level of misery to satisfy you? if you want to hear about some real human misery, why don't you just go to cnn.com and click on 'World News'
CL41RE 0
Then really it shouldn't be called fmylife more like fmyday, don't you think? I'm not expecting to hear depressing things, but it shouldn't be called fmylife.
warmfuzzy 0
first?
dimkims 0
fail?
nomnomsean 0
omygod. i hope you like monkey piss?
sikanderimran 0
first.
amaranthphantom 0
FAIL. also, I hope you used the bathroom sink or something
HondaGirl2010 0
eww =[
22cute 17
Should have stopped by the elephants and get them to hose you off.
why_me14 0
first
buttercup707 0
fail
meanie_monday 0
Why six hours?
gwenhwyfaer 0
In fairness, I'd want to shower for six hours after that too.
minidinosaurgoes 9
^^no... no.... he couldn't GET to a shower for six hours, not actually TAKE a six hour shiwer. -_-'
mexicutioner123 0
it's fake because he wouldn't do a six hour drive to work
A_Wolfe 0
If only the monkey could have told you that it had to piddle like a mother fiddle.
A_Wolfe 0
If only the monkey could speak, it would have told you that it had to piddle like a mother fiddle.
simplyn2deep 2
I'll take that experience over my experience: gorilla crap thrown from 10 ft away
blooop_fml 0
How is that an fml? It was a hot day and you got a quick way to cool down. People need to be more grateful.