Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
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Top comments
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's inconsiderate of him...
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Comments (99)
lexiieeex3 32
G
theTravinator 21
Well he is quite the charmer
Greenteamextreme 16
This is when OP should bid him farewell by mailing him a box of lube and tissues to help him on his way in life. Maybe a mirror aswell seeing as he prefers his own company so much.
imkool136 22
Umm. You should talk to him? Let him know that you would've liked something more physical maybe? Either way, good luck and I hope that you can get your own needs satisfied as well.
nonsensical 26
I don't know... that kind of reaction makes it seem like he was mad at her before that even happened. Maybe there's more to the story?
prostar9993 15
Gotta get back to the video games I guess
Rocklegend_16 15
That's definitely grounds for dumping his sorry ass
iAlissa 34
No one is entitled to sex in a relationship, although he could've been more polite about it
Rkikkas9713 25
"Oh no, he rejected me even though he's my boyfriend, time to dump him!" Does that not sound stupid to you?
NotGabe 28
Keh. Always so quick to pull the "dump him!" card on here.
mikeman1744 18
Don't you think that might be a slight overreaction #5?
goozeo 11
There's always that one commenter...
tormcn 26
I agree with #5. it's not that he won't have sex, it's the way in which she was rejected. She was trying to be sexy. He was disrespectful, and yes.. deserves to be dumped.
Aimeejasmine 15
Intimacy is always a tricky topic, it's where you're most vulnerable. The way OPs boyfriend treated OP reflects the respect he holds for her, he clearly doesn't care is she feels rejected or embarrassed, so yes I would say if it's ongoing then it's time to move on.
leogachi 15
@66 Immediately breaking up with him would be hasty. She should at least discuss it with him and make sure he knows he was being rude when he hung up on her. I can see why this would be a bump.in the road, but not being able to move past it is extreme.
heyitsmikayla 14
Lol just because he didn't wanna **** her she needs to dump him? You need to grow up.
ninety 25
The way I interpret is not bc he wouldn't sleep with her, but the way he handled the situation. His reply was one sentence after which he just hung up on her. What he said and how he said it was just pretty douchey in general, unless of course there's more to the story, like they had been fighting before or something.
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's inconsiderate of him...
thatoneevilfuy 6
Why is it? It's different when it's the other way round and guys want to have sex and they are rejected, why should it be the same for her, maybe the guy just didn't feel like having sex and relieved himself another way doesn't mean he's in the wrong.
quackImapenguin 16
It's not a problem that he didn't want to have sex. What was inconsiderate was how he went about rejecting it. He should have texted her promptly with a "sorry, not right now" rather than making her wait half an hour and then giving a response that implied that a kleenex was better company than her.
tylercarolinex 21
gender roles have nothing to do with this story. it would be the same if a girl turned down her man. its still inconsiderate
gichikku 14
#34 Maybe because he HUNG UP ON HER. That's pretty inconsiderate and rude to me. Not only that, but she asked him a question and he was a smartass with his response before doing so.
Ashamed_Sister 60
That's true love.
SpartyOnWayne 18
Find a new boyfriend, OP. Sounds like he's in a better relationship with his right hand :P
FitFriday 32
Or left
slingerslasher 24
Or middle hand.
logicnazi 18
Or Kleenex
MrConcise 35
It's always "girls have ******" and "guys have hands". Why can't girls have fingers and guys have fleshlights? I am a SJW: Sexual Justice Warrior!
leogachi 15
I think it's just easier to assume that the guy doesn't have a fleshlight because they're not as common as ******. It's not that he CAN'T have one, it's just easier to assume that he doesn't.
MrConcise 35
#72 - You're triggering me with your sexual discrimination. I'm getting flashbacks of all the times I was told having a blowup doll was gross.
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away
FrietvanPiet 16
Definitely read this wrong the first time
logicnazi 18
Even if I were this guy, I'd still be on my way over. If not for seconds for myself, but because who doesn't enjoy a little taste of sweet cherry pie?
Miss_Whipped 43
She's my cherry pie. Cool drink of water such a sweet surprise. Taste so good make a grown man cry. Sweet cherry pie!
PharmacyJoe 13
You and me both, 25... I was very confused as to how this would help.
bluediamond_20 0
Lmao good one!!!!
janibt 13
expectations lead to disappointment