Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML
Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML
Today, I overheard my in-laws talking about me. It started off with light insults and ended with, "People like her are the reason murder ain't always wrong". FML
Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Today, my wife, in all seriousness, told me she believed I am autistic. With all due respect to autistic people out there, WTF? FML
Today, my son has complex special needs, but apparently some of my deliberately ignorant relatives put no effort into learning more about his issues, and just call him "the retarded one" when they think I can’t hear them. FML
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML
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Top comments
lexiieeex3 32
That's not right, your wife should've stuck up for you. Just because you have a learning disability doesn't mean you're a lesser person or a lesser husband. It just means your brain is wired a little different and that's okay.
russfml 31
It sounds like your wife and mother in law should be diagnosed with a mental bitch ability. FYL OP
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Comments (70)
SydLovesLacey 18
Ugh, so sorry OP. Divorce her and don't feel bad about doing it
jojimugo 20
A bit harsh maybe?
Drnknmonkey08 12
well we all know who the winner is your relationships :/ careful you don't want to be a bitter middle aged woman some day with no husband and kids.
ColonelCusswords 24
Divorce is simply giving up, true couples work on each other and solve problems becoming more and more in love. Never give up simply because shit is bad
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Although I agree that couples should work things out, her reaction would be to me close to a deal-breaker. She is looking down at her husband because he has a disability he cannot control. She doesn't sound like the type of person you can rely on during tough times, which is a pillar of marriage.
swanheart 35
Although I don't know for sure as I wasn't there at the time, it could be a flustered woman muttering an answer to get her mum off her back rather than the wife actually saying with conviction that she has no idea why she's even still with her husband? That's how I read the fml but I could be wrong
gichikku 14
I agree with #30 full heartedly. She was asked why she ever married him and her response is I don't know??? Clearly she doesn't love him.
ZY1431 24
agreed. if she don't know why she married him then she doesn't love him. so end it with divorce and move on.
expertsmilee 26
I'm sorry...honestly.
Enkeria 30
I'm really sorry OP! It's too bad that they don't understand what a learning disability is. I have ADHD, I'm in college, and looking like I'm going to get my B.S. in Meteorology. Best of luck to you dealing with that OP. :)
TheMathMajor 26
I have ADD and dyslexia and just got two degrees in engineering and liberal arts :)
Enkeria 30
That's awesome #38! I couldn't do that. Too much work. :p
Candace7 19
Are you on meds for your ADHD #3??
Enkeria 30
#49, I am not. My parents didn't want me to rely on drugs. My biological mom has a drug problem and they didn't want me to get started because they were afraid that I would get hooked and sell it for money and whatnot.
lexiieeex3 32
That's not right, your wife should've stuck up for you. Just because you have a learning disability doesn't mean you're a lesser person or a lesser husband. It just means your brain is wired a little different and that's okay.
vikky538 29
She did stuck up but only in his ass. Op should have a serious conversation with his wife.
mds9986 24
Having a learning disability doesn't even mean you're retarded either. They are the retards for thinking it.
bryce0110 23
You have no idea how many times I was made fun of for being autistic. They call me stupid, yet I'm smarter than they are. Hang in there OP!
Subcontinent 14
So glad to hear someone put it like that. My boyfriend has Aspergers and whenever he worries about it I tell him that there's nothing wrong with him as far as I'm concerned, he just thinks things through a little differently than most people. and I happen to love the way he thinks
WOTAN1488 24
Dump them both. Clearly you were both mistaken.
DocDrose 20
Wow. double whammy there mate. what are you going to do?
8Dirty1 24
YDI for that one
stormiemay 11
How does he deserve it he has a learning disability something he can't control his mother in law is a bitch and his wife agrees with her
ColonelCusswords 24
like mother like daughter buddy, good luck with youre dealing with
tranced_ 45
somethings wrong! Why do they get along?
russfml 31
It's his mother in law meaning it's his wife's mother. Mother and daughters usually get along, usually lol
tranced_ 45
From what Netflix taught me, they usually don't ;D
russfml 31
It sounds like your wife and mother in law should be diagnosed with a mental bitch ability. FYL OP
missambitious 21
More like 'Acquired Stupidity Syndrome' ASS.