Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
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Top comments
thee_most_dope 30
again??? how many times has this happened before?!
BadApple88 29
Be more specific next time
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Comments (90)
BadApple88 29
Be more specific next time
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
I remember when my 13 year old dog looked like the puppy in your picture. :D
xBeats 15
No one cares.
saba_ajira 29
That's something you use the message system for
ThatOneGuy719 16
How the hell do you end up falling in the toilet.. And need help getting out of it in the first place?
FrietvanPiet 16
Because he left the toiletseat up. Haven't you seen Southpark?
lisaroxmysoxx 16
At least you hadn't fallen in the toilet!
binger_gitch 12
I don't see this as a FML OP, it's kinda cute hah.
riptor911 10
Again
badluckalex 23
kinky
thee_most_dope 30
again??? how many times has this happened before?!
viva_la_blondes 15
The "again" had me laughing so hard. How does that happen once let alone multiple times?!
AdamsNumberOne 16
"Again" is this the second time, or 50th?
lolfood 24
Totally stole my comment.
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
51st dates lol
starcaller17 16
Dude, did you even watch that movie? It's 50 first dates, not 51st dates, which doesn't even make grammatical sense.... And OP didn't forget anything so it doesn't make sense either
krundale 6
You must be a shitty person.
MsConfusedd 27
No.
A_Twerking_Koala 9
The chances of OP having sex just went down the toilet.
magymofucka 9
i hate moderated comments. i'm always wondering what was said.
tbro47 23
To be honest most guys don't take well to subtle hints. Next time just be blunt. That would turn me on more than trying to pick through hidden meanings. We're not all that complicated.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I get the sentiment but there is no way in hell that I would ever text my man that I wanted him to come over or something because I was horny or even that I wanted him to come over for sex. That is not the kind of text message I want in existence for anyone to find. If it relates to sex, it isn't going to appear on my phone let alone be sent to the phone of anyone else, for any reason. If that means that I take care of myself and my man misses out on the chance because he couldn't take the hint, well sucks to be him. Plus depending on who controls the phone in question (i.e. Is it a truly personal phone, is it a personal/work phone that is paid for by the company they work for, is it simply supposed to be a work only phone) it may be inappropriate to send such a blunt message and casual hinting may be the best option.
krundale 6
You must feel like crap...
foreverfilthy__ 10
How to kill the mood! He sounds like a keep though
gerrags 16
That was shitty of him...
warsun 27
*aims cannon* stand still will ya?
BootheGhost 6
Silly #30, everyone knows you use severe verbal abuse instead of violence on FML.