Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
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Top comments
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's inconsiderate of him...
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Comments (99)
Our_name_ 14
Wow.. Just wow.. Give him a box of Kleenex for his birthday and tell him Go **** Your Self.... Again.. ??
vietprincess2010 14
the ****, he better have a damn good reason to do that shit.
RogueWarrior869 23
Ah, the comments in this one. Imagine if the roles were reversed and then what they would be. Now then, just because you were you in the mood doesn't he was, not a big deal. What needs to be discussed is that rude way he responded. Not cool.
RogueWarrior869 23
Well, that comment came out two kinds of messed up. *Now then, just because you were in the mood doesn't mean he was, not a big deal.
limabeans101029 21
The whole point of the FML is that he was so rude. If the genders were reversed, the comments would be the same. This has nothing to do with sexism or gender roles.
Jethco 15
There's only one explanation; you suck really bad in bed.
baileym27 13
Damn I would have sprinted over for that
bluediamond_20 0
Oh no he would've gotten the boot!!!
dcea 17
Gay.
cgm387 1
men.
shinikageWolf 15
God forbid he wait to drive to your place before cumming.
wordsandzombies 12
Tell him to kleen up his act