Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
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Top comments
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's inconsiderate of him...
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Comments (99)
Drakone 9
His "comeback" was legendary but he's still a dick
mrlawlor7777 26
Yes, your boyfriend is an ass for the way he handled this. I feel there is way more to it on his side. Anyway, not getting some from your boyfriend is not an FML. The other way around is called a typical day. Lastly, if you were that horny, get off your ass and go to his house. Sometimes men need to be romanced or put in the mood too.
dakatabg 31
Selfish
abNormal62 23
Sex can be like doing the laundry. Sometimes you need to get the machines turned on and in gear to achieve the desired results, and sometimes with a small load, it's easier to do it by hand
tormcn 26
You sir, have won my humor.. and a thumbs up.
illegalbeagle69 23
Sex is like euchre, it only works if you have one of two things: a good hand, or a good partner.
Saraishi 25
Next time he tells you he's horny, hand him a kleenex.
Makko 20
If it was the first time, he may not want to until marriage:/ I know that's what I plan to do.
darkthunda1324 6
He could of put it in a nicer way next time he's in the mood tell him you took care if it yourself sorry lol
p_nafnaf_fml 12
Seems he loves his hand more than you!
tranced_ 45
What an idiot! I'd chose my girlfriend any day over a tissue paper! ..If I had one!
mistress_paz 30
Were you two in an argument or does he generally treat you disrespectfully?