Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
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Top comments
MyNameIsLaughter 18
Next time he comes on to you, just pull out a box of Kleenex and walk away
lexiieeex3 32
Well that's inconsiderate of him...
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Comments (99)
Mindashy 13
I guess someone isn't getting laid tonight...
Sathane 21
A guy should come running every time you offer to spread your legs?
Drnknmonkey08 12
I don't see how this is an fml, maybe if you guys lived together it would be more of one. he probably just like a quickie or didn't want to drive just for sex. hell girl you have a hand too! just be thankful he didn't cheat!
izzajaneful 24
Maybe if you want him to come over you should actually wait for him to respond to the text before expecting him to show up. Personally I think it's kind of rude to send a text and assume someone is going to drop whatever they are doing and rush to your house.
leogachi 15
To be fair, you don't know that they weren't talking on the phone.
apcsox 18
You mean your "ex boyfriend" right??
JKPwnage 27
Well, you kind of deserve it for assuming he's always up for sex. If the genders were switched, it would be all YDIs.
limabeans101029 21
Not true. I hate how people keep trying to twist every single FML to make it about sexism. In this case, if the genders were reversed, I'm pretty sure the general response would be exactly the same. It's not the fact that he isn't up for sex which makes him a dick, it's the fact that he was so rude about it.
Tannasgh 22
Why are you dating this guy?
zarrganaut 17
What a nice boyfriend you have there.
ndnpride88 25
Sounds like he prefers his relationship with PAMELA HANDERSON AND HER 5 FRIENDS. ?
Drnknmonkey08 12
I don't see how this is a fml situation. I could understand if you lived together. maybe he just didn't feel like driving over just for sex, and possibly just wanted a quickie. at least he didn't cheat on you! you have a hand too!