Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
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Top comments
jonnied23 20
You shouldn't do that at other people's houses.
p888 0
Offer them a 'drink'
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Comments (204)
p888 0
Offer them a 'drink'
MizzErikaHart 8
Did you put the kids to sleep in the bathtub? How could you going "potty" be that loud?
elidine 0
Look em in the eye and finish like a boss.
zandalee 20
Stop the world! I want to get off... What the ****?
Pandacupcakelove 26
28- I'm guessing the OP was thinking about the flushing.
nado13579 12
46 is right. OP probably didn't want to flush or that would wake the kids. OP, if the parents were coming home that soon, couldn't you wait a few minutes?
Da_Bauss435 8
OP should have turned towards them, said hello, and continue peeing. You'll get hired back because they'll realize the confidence you have in yourself.
aaahhhfire21 0
Aren't u glad u didn't have to shit?
KeyLoLoKye 0
The best reply ever! My gawd. (#31)
kayla_ann0o 9
Caught with your pants down. How do you explain that one.
blackheart24 10
I wanna know if OP was a guy or a girl.
nofearjenshere 12
^ I imagined OP as a girl squatting over the cup.
RacerX1695 1
117 - just say your little brother ran up behind you, pulled down your pants yelling, "Geronimo" and then ran away…
cadillacgal79 32
171-How do you explain the peeing than?
jonnied23 20
You shouldn't do that at other people's houses.
KM96 24
At your own house is bad enough as it is!
GothicAngel17 24
People drink from those cups :| I'm glad the parents found out, so they could throw the cup away! Otherwise they could have just rinsed the cup in the middle of the night thinking it was from water and used it to drink from :|
ScaughtieHolden 11
Well urine is sterile, so it would only effect you emotionally.
lylotrezor 20
It's actually only sterile until it leaves the body, since the genitals are not. Also, urine is composed of all the toxic waste of the body, so it is in fact rather disgusting.
mandak1982 3
It's only sterile while in the body.
CaramelMacchiato 13
22 - Let's hope that OP at least had the decency to use a red cup/plastic cup!
kira_the_boss 1
If OP was from Portland, then he made the right move by keeping Portland weird (one of our motos)
Inheritance 10
Red solo cup come fill me up! Let's have a party..
MrsDruidess 23
you shouldn't do that ever! You could have just waited to flush if it was just pee. Your lucky it wasn't worse, I would have black listed you on line and in print all over the area! Nasty!!!
bughug1999 11
I think you mean potty
jerseyboy732 16
assuming your male you could have sat down the the toilet while you went so it didn't make any sound
Hugh_Spreadum 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You are no longer a male in that case. Just pee in the cup and take it on the chin.
Keevarou 17
9? What's wrong with guys sitting on the toilet to pee? Nothing! Makes less noise, and less chance to dirty up the toilet lid, and no more telling from girls that you have to put the toilet lid down. So it would be considerated a "courtesy" from the male.
FMLshark 12
Now people are judged by the way they sit on their toilets? What has this world come to?!
Isoldael 27
I guess it wasn't as much the sound of him peeing but rather the flushing that would wake the kids.
fortunelady 17
Good point. Though maybe the solution there would've been: Don't Flush. It's not pleasant, but I'd rather someone used my bathroom and didn't flush after themselves than peed in one of my cups and threw it down my kitchen sink. I drink out of those cups and wash up in that sink!!
skoob1 12
I pee on the side of the toilet to make less noise...
MDTeddy 13
Guys can just pee too the side.
swoozie23 6
Could have just went outside?
hthelittleone 10
But what if it was a girl, and she was trying to avoid the flushing noise? Now that would be pretty scary to walk in on as a parent, considering she would have to pull her pants down and squat..
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
That's what you get for being a tramp
PeteyPablo12308 20
Wow, that's a bit harsh..
Amethyst888 14
How does peeing in a cup make you a tramp? I mean yeah it's disgusting and OP shouldn't have done it, especially at someone else's house, but he's not really exhibiting tramp like behavior in this FML...
Alanber92 5
Sadly, I have had this sort of thing happen to me before, only I was at a friend's house and the water was off : (
RaquelW 7
sounds like a different sort of thing.
other121 2
Do I give a shit? This was never about you. Attention ***** much?
linkinpark98 24
Secret ingredient?
Truth_Nazi 0
"The secret ingredient, is phone"
p3mguin 7
Urine...
mustangkid21 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Im sure the parents must do the same..cant bother kids..... I would just pee at a neibors house and dump at least a mile away!
RaRachel 3
I'm pretty sure the parents wouldn't piss in their own cups :/
BeccaHugs 17
I think 8 means the parents must pee when the kids are in bed, so it probably wouldn't have woken the kids up. Either way, this FML is ******.
br0ccoli 15
"This isn't what it looks like..." *puts cup down* "...I swear the apple juice in the fridge is actually apples..."
trollfaced 2
Kids parents: "there's no apple juice in the fridge..."
ShyAnn29 15
Babysitter "Well, I bought some..."
justindrew14 29
Parents: "Our kids are allergic to apple jucie. We told you this on the phone..."
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
That's what you get for being a tramp
Amethyst888 14
Okay seriously, did you post this comment twice?! It wasn't good or correct the first time, was it really necessary to post it twice? OP is STILL NOT A TRAMP!
kaycee1996 5
That's disgusting! Why is the first thing you thought to do is piss in a cup? I'm sure you had better options
plaguer 26
If the parents were due home so soon you'd think OP could've held it. Or at least gone discreetly in the backyard.
SarahBearrra 4
Or if they were really that desperate, use the bathtub or go outside.... Or , you know, wait...