Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
OUCH.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
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Comments (207)
anonymous1230 0
Wow, he's a douche.
kimtheturtle 0
ok, well thats too bad. but im sure you have already turned down sex also. its only normal for him to do the same. maybe he was really tired. you have the rest of your life to have sex, no worries.
dcapp 0
ohhhhhhh. thats not nice i'd be real mad break up with him guys suck.
802_CRU 0
COME ON!!! its not his fault that he's tired. its not like he said, "too bad im not." and he signed it with xoxo. you can't expect him to be down whenever wherever. you seem to know what you want. so going solo shouldn't be as much as a challange.
cantwhistle 0
now you know what its like being a guy
Fml_kid 0
He's a idiot -_-
VICisFAB 0
LMFAO ahahha fail..
SNW23 0
I have definitely had the same thing happen...in his bed.
summer_love 0
# 37, come again? what do you think this is the dark age? how long do you wait to have sex, 2 years? seriously , welcome to 21st century love :)
QDogg119 0
If anyone above said guys are not horny 24/7, you can kiss my A$$. WE are always horny. The ONLY time a guy is not horny is when they just had sex, and even then they still might be horny after that. It all depends on if he wants to go again. EVEN WHEN WE ARE SLEEPING, we are horny. Your boyfriend sounds GAY to me. Or he is cheating on you.
Upon_A_Burning_B 0
Or the people above aren't horny all the time? I know that may seem impossible to a person with the brain of a stick, but not everyone is as sexually deprived as you that they need sexual stimulation 24/7. _-------_ <--- I made you a bridge to jump off of.