Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
OUCH.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
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Comments (207)
DoubleOBond 0
bf is funny, your life doesn't suck...get over it...everyone has hard days at work, life, etc
nicanatasha 0
haha. not really a FML..but dang. cause if i texted that to my bf, he would be right outside.
rachybaby614 0
haha. my one ex said almost the same exact thing to me
oliviax3 0
LMFAO
aliabbiss 0
maybe he's not on the mood. **** u. y r u so selfish. u get pissed at him for being tired. I would tell u to go **** urself but it looks like u already did. o yeah btw **** u.
pete_skates_well 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA some one from Montreal 0.o
zuper_duper 0
Your boyfriend is a dumbass. No offense, but which heterosexual man would NOT take the chance of having sex with his girlfriend (besides this dude)? Saying he's too tired to give sweet-loving is bull.
bamdigity 0
that is hilarious haha. i mean so what,damn he prolly tired. it aint like he jus said no bitch. i mean he did put hugs and kisses and everything ha. i dont know this dude but i automatically love him ahhaaha.
7craze7 0
Fkn hilarious LOL
IHateTheBritish 0
im the boyfriend..