Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
OUCH.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
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Comments (207)
snowblazer12 0
lol i know how that guy feels i had this girlfriend who would only see me or talk to me just to get **** now this was good for a while but i like her a lot and have known for 4 years and i wanted more than just mindless ******* there were times where i just looked at her text's and felt like a boy toy
Brentos 0
Haha, a man that know what he wants. You have to respect someone like that. I, on the other hand, am completely pussy whipped and would have like flash-ran to your house haha
RedWingsLover 0
i aM SO SO VERY SORRY
flykhicks007 0
burn
kimmaye 0
lol did you? and that sux most the guys i date are ALWAYS in the mood FYL
_musical_addict_ 0
ahahaha I'm a girl and I find this hilarious. Omg you are such a whiny little bitch. Just because he refused one time to have sex means that he's a bad boyfriend and a dick? And that you can complain about it? Urgh, I mean yes granted we don't know all the circumstances, but with what we have given, this is not really an FML. The guy wasn't in the mood I'm sure you've done the same. Plus, reading what the text says, it doesn't really sounds like he was a dick about it or anything This isnt FYL or YDI. This is why FML NEEDS A "SO WHAT?" button The people who run this site should consider that idea....
swiperluck 0
idiot bf
obbergoober123 0
lol ur bf is funny
obbergoober123 0
ya i definatly want a so wat button! i was just thinking that! good idea!
morganmia_ 0
hahahahah. nawww (L) i feel for you.