Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
OUCH.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
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Comments (207)
latuka 0
OUCH.
ilovefatcats 12
jerk.
FreddyMustDie 0
He has a point... It's kind of expected of guys that they'll always be ready and willing. If a girl declined that offer no-one would bat an eyelid. Can't we be "too tired" as well?
LoadFasterPage 0
did u use em? XD
SarahStarzz 0
so? OP ur life is not ****** cuz ur bf wasn't in the mood,I am sure u wouldn't drive 2 his house in the middle of the night if he asked u 2 ..... so get over it -.-
Kalira69 9
Yeah, a guy can be not in the mood, sure, but there's definitely something to the way he said it, too. Saying "I'm tired" or "I'm not in the mood" or even "I'm going to sleep" is not exactly like saying "you have fingers, use them" I'm sure it was an embarrassing moment for OP, too.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
TWSSMoment 0
specialy if you have a ugly gf that why you don't have to see her face you can just think of another girl.
RyanZhang22 1
phone sex is for *******. he should go over to your house and have sex with you, op!!!
DNWVF 0
exactly :)
gabbbbbbbyy 0
lol!
Guch 0
Not really a FML but whatever.
anykey 0
I think I might have to use that line every once and a while. Seriously, the man needs his sleep!
pokipoki 0
next time do the same to him when he asked for one "you got hands. use them. btw, unlike you, my fingers are fast learners." he's probably just tired. i mean he'd have to get ready, go to your place.. etc etc.. such a hassle.
Dude_fml 0
Sleeping is the pinnacle of your day, why would you trade that for sex bah you guys disgust me
ownedurmom 1
Hmmm ..................... Cool story bro. (:
shorgenfunkel 0
Whether you deserved this depends on what time of day you texted him. If it was anything before 10AM or after 10PM, his response is understandable.
HomeBurger 0
He opted for something other than sex ONE TIME and you flip out? Besides, if it's a text, he clearly wasn't in the same area, so **** you for expecting him to sprint over at your beck and call. Unless you provide the same service for him, which somehow I doubt.
alliewillie 22
It's not even that he didn't "come to her aid" it's that he said "you got fingers, use them". To me THATS the FML. I wouldn't mind if my bf wasn't in the mood but that comment would bother me.
abouttofly 12
So your boyfriend wasn't in the mood for sex one day? I don't see what's so bad about that. No one is in the mood 100% of the time.
IHateTheBritish 0
are you serious? get out of america
Bubs_fml 0
Well, if this was late at night, you can't just expect him to get back out of bed and go to your place. Sex is great, but you can't expect the dude to drop everything he's doing just because you're in the mood. I wouldn't expect that of any girl I date. Then again, there's no details here so no room to make assumptions.
IHateTheBritish 0
shut the **** up youve never been laid if a girl says that to me im there in a second, like really why are you so serious its ****** fml. go back to canada, get out of my united states.
Upon_A_Burning_B 0
IHateTheBritish, your name just shows how much of an ignorant twat you are. If you would drop everything your doing for sex, you must be pretty desperate. Also, "Your America"? I didn't realize you were the owner of a country inhabited by over three-hundred million people. Please have someone peel off your skin and dump salt on you. That is all.
finished 10
203 forgot to take his happy pill this morning ...