Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
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Top comments
latuka 0
OUCH.
Jimboom 12
So he couldn't be arsed to have phone sex? So what? Usually it takes a long time and the guy could have brought himself to ****** at least twice by the time the dirty talk turns the women on enough to climax. I see no FML here. More like FMF (**** my fingers). Buy a vibrator. On a side note it's really his loss. Phone sex can be very hot. :)
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Comments (207)
shinychexmix 0
SUCKY BOYFRIEND
squeaky_fml 0
Sometimes people are really tired. Why do girls expect guys to want sex at ALL TIMES? If a guy posted this about a girl, no one would be sympathetic to him.
deadpaper 0
Ok, so I agree that guys need their sleep too. Us females complain of 'beauty sleep' or something all the time, so guys deserve it too. On the other hand, it's really his loss!
firefalcon 0
I'm a guy, and I can tell you for a fact that even us dudes don't want sex all the time. Sometimes all one wants to do is sleep, especially if one didn't sleep well the night before, had a long day or doesn't feel good. So, one one hand... he did respond a bit coldly and he should have at least taken the time to say something like "I'm too tired, sorry, love you" instead of being a smart-ass. But on the other hand... if it was late or if you've acted like that towards him before, he's kinda justified in his behavior. Eh. Agreeing with the people that said to buy a vibe. Much less hassle.
CDub7888 0
Dear god, what the hell is wrong with that guy? This may sound bad, but if I recieved a text like that, the cops would be after me for indecent exposure because I would've left my pants at wherever I recieved that text as I ran to that girl's bedroom.
ohprettynails 0
what a douche!
bitchh_fml 0
Damn. Atleast you got a xoxo?
formosababie 0
go get yourself a trojan vibrating touch fingertip massager ;)
artanis_neravar 0
if your boyfriend texted you saying im horny , in bed and naked, are you always going to say yes? give the guy a break
TheChosenOne_fml 0
He must be a ****... BTW: **** everybody sayin, if he would call u sayin I´m horny, get your ass ova here... That´s NOT the same thing! Guys should jump immediatly, if there´s a chance 4 pussy. Believe me, I am one.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Stop talking. We can all deduct your age from your writing skills and at that age, you probably can't even get your penis (that's what you call 'wee wee') to ejaculate (something other than pee, that is).