Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and it went great. I later found out that he came inside another girl, stole her sweatshirt, then left. After that, he proceeded to bang another girl. Both of these girls are in my friend group, and I still went on a date with him after. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a solo outing with my longtime crush. He decided to invite a friend along. I had to pick her up half an hour away from town, he treated her to the movie we were watching while I had to pay for myself, he fingered her in the theatre, and made out with her on the drive home. FML
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
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Top comments
jennifer93 0
you shouldve just dropped her off on her corner
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
and tomorrow night a random girl will be driving you home too! yay!
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Comments (132)
jennifer93 0
you shouldve just dropped her off on her corner
blaherman 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
seems like you have experiencein that.
littlemissFYL 5
^ where she belongs.
BahahahLOL 0
Ah, the benefits of having a homeless/hooker as a "friend"
tjv3 10
you should have said no
vivek585 5
Too funny. :-D
lilmissfail 0
how do you know it's just a corner? maybe she has a whole street
TempestRain 0
I would have told her to walk her skanky butt to the next corner. Screw driving her anywhere!
isaacrll 0
So I'm guessing your a red head with small boobs and where big dresses………-_- sucks for you O.o
jennifer93 0
#81-I see what you did there but you definitely should have said brunette instead of redhead cause my picture clearly shows I don't have red hair :p
Jaimegirl 7
#81- she doesn't even have red hair...haha
6chavez9 1
it's probably where he picked her up
a_nutritionist 10
ugh you judgemental idiots. you think the girl knew this guy had a date the next day? how does she deserve anything for sleeping with some guy who was two timing this girl? i hope you never have any form of casual relationship, if you do, you better march your own asses to a street corner because, by your own admission, youre ******.
chloe2114 4
I think #81 meant to tell tht to OP
Kilroy15 0
WTF 94, most of us are messing around jeez. Take. A. Chillpill
saintscyther 0
hey
TempestRain 0
94-Must be a **** too. Over defensive much? Who cares if she knew or not. She can call her own ride home.
SexyNicole1310 0
holy crap, u have amazing *******
biggestboss 3
87- you gotta sexy rack
w0rsh1psk8r 0
you're so stupid
CommonSenseKarma 17
87 - you have my chew toy(s).
blushy 14
love how everyone blames the girl when she had nothing to do with it. the guy is a jerk
ollie179 21
LOL
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
and tomorrow night a random girl will be driving you home too! yay!
WillKill4Beer 0
Win! ^
sparkles0103 4
ha exactly...op you should of left when he asked you to do that.
CaptainPickles72 18
Thanks for driving my girlfriend home OP, and tell your date thanks for being a loyal customer! ;)
xtacticalswarmx 0
WIN lol
phatdaddy62 23
hey 15. maybe he's saying he's a Pimp!
ijrnelson 0
yeh he is obv a pimp.
CaptainPickles72 18
I agree with everyone here! Yes, I win! Yes, my girlfriend's a *****.....actually all my girls are ******. Yes, I'm a pimp. But 15.....my good sir I do not suck, the girls do though.(;
boricua458 0
Haha NICE ONE!
staceysgenesis16 0
you should have kicked her ass out of your car. or should have just said no and kicked him out as well.
Just_ol_Kole 0
OP: Did you sleep with her last night? Boyfriend: I can't remember anything OP: gtfo my car. That's how it should've gone down
sailorzoe 14
HAHAHAHA This bitches profile cracked me up. Why are so many people compulsive liars?
a_nutritionist 10
kicked her ass out for what exactly? engaging in an activity that in no way affects anyone but herself? or because she had sex and youre jealous?
dreamering 16
it's a date and not your husband of 10 years.
ubetrwatchBN 5
And it's a breakfast date. I guess driving his one night stand home further reiterates OP's position in the friend zone. Next week, she'll be running errands for him. Fyl OP
ijrnelson 0
27. Good Call. You are wise. xD
maceee_armstrong 9
ass
cc88 3
Even if its only a date the guy is definitely a jerk
this_female 0
hahaha three some ayee! ;)
BahahahLOL 0
Why the thumbs down? I thunk its a great idea.
phatdaddy62 23
7, you're 16 talking about threesomes. Ever been DP'ed? I didn't think so. Shuddup!
manbizzle 1
DP'd? it's 2 girls and 1 guy in the FML.
HeavyMetalViking 0
one of the girls own a strap on, bets on which one!
ambowew 7
Bet you were still thinking of claiming sloppy seconds.
phatdaddy62 23
ummm, op is female.
Frelling 0
31, lesbian?
Cryptid_V 2
If she did the guy it would still be 'seconds'.
CitrusGirl 0
Proper response: "I may not look like much compared to her, but at least I don't cost money."
a_nutritionist 10
...yeah cos its the girl who needs to be put in her place here. what a bitch, trying to sleep with some guy without asking every girl on the planet if shes interested in him.
chrisauh 4
Haha she doesn't cost money? what about all the presents, dinners, and stuff like that? Women cost alot, bro. I got experience in this, lol.
thewife5 19
sooooo.. he's not your boyfriend, so feel free not to date him;) You could of said no if it bothered you.