Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML
Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
Today, I had to explain to a police officer that I wasn't drunk and had swerved because I was eating pie and almost dropped it. FML
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Oedipus, eat-a-pie? This is hilarious if you pronounce Oedipus the British way.
Chazzster 32
When I was young, sometimes Dad would call my Mom “Mom”. She mentioned to me once that she didn’t like being called that by her husband and decided to turn it around and call him “Dad”. She said that he seemed to like that, which just made it worse for her, so then she plain out told him that she was not his mom (who lived a couple of houses away) and to call her by her name… It’s not an uncommon thing for parents who have children to call each other “mom” or “dad” because that’s how they refer to them in talking to their children - Like, “Ask Mom if she needs anything from the store.” I had a friend who went the other way - His children called him “Deer” because that’s what the wife called him… OP, these things happen - I assume or hope that “Mom” didn’t take it in a weird sexual way. Just say “oops” and call her what you usually call her. It’s usually when things are repeated that they get on people’s nerves.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Oedipus, eat-a-pie? This is hilarious if you pronounce Oedipus the British way.
Chazzster 32
When I was young, sometimes Dad would call my Mom “Mom”. She mentioned to me once that she didn’t like being called that by her husband and decided to turn it around and call him “Dad”. She said that he seemed to like that, which just made it worse for her, so then she plain out told him that she was not his mom (who lived a couple of houses away) and to call her by her name… It’s not an uncommon thing for parents who have children to call each other “mom” or “dad” because that’s how they refer to them in talking to their children - Like, “Ask Mom if she needs anything from the store.” I had a friend who went the other way - His children called him “Deer” because that’s what the wife called him… OP, these things happen - I assume or hope that “Mom” didn’t take it in a weird sexual way. Just say “oops” and call her what you usually call her. It’s usually when things are repeated that they get on people’s nerves.