Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML
Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML
Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML
Today, I had gotten a Costco style pumpkin pie and whipped cream for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and stepdad ended up so stuffed from the main course of the dinner that they didn't want the pie. I got that stuff for them specifically. I'll have to eat the pie myself so it doesn't go to waste. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I think cyanide may be a good ingredient to add next time you make one for her... But jokes aside, don't bother making her anything, she'll never like anything you cook.
ClosetTroll 10
If she stuffed herself then you know she liked it. It might take her a while to admit the same.
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Comments (143)
pattipan 7
Who wouldn't LOVE an appie pie that was honest-to-goodness made from scratch? And even if it wasn't the best thing she'd ever tasted, a decent person would have still found something nice to say. Only the rudest of the rude insult someone else's cooking, especially while they are eating it.
Trisha_aus 15
Just smile and look happy every time you see her OP that'll drive her crazy
Emerald_86 0
Exlax...impress her yet again with a wonderful dinner,THEN you make an awesome dessert (individual of course) and watch the magic happen..
CeeCee_fml 16
The crust is the best part of any pie and she had the audacity to pick it off? I'm offended.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Throw it at her
Dracoboxer357 36
Op, at the risk of sounding like an asshole, may I suggest you don't owe this woman your Unconditional respect? It's not written anywhere that she may shit in your face whenever the whim strikes her and you have to smile and take it. I'm not suggesting picking a fight with her, but she sounds like a bully who needs to be shown that unprovoked disrespect is unacceptable behavior. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself firmly, yet calmly and maturely. Considering you'll be the biggest focus in her son's life, she should probably be trying to make sure she'll be welcome in the home you two build together. Respect's a two-way street, and your husband-to-be should be the one kicking her ass metaphorically for basically pissing on his choice of life partner as this is an insult to him as well. :p Just my take on it, though. Good luck, Op.
1094568 1
Dam americano bitches....
perdix 31
Is it possible that you suck at baking? A competent baker could knock out an apple pie in 45 minutes, tops. You're probably of that generation where every time you attempt something, the world has to praise you to high heaven regardless of how shitty your effort turned out.
Michael_92 20
Here is a thought...when our generation runs the world will it be for the better or worse of humanity then right now?
Madame_Javert 4
I hope your time estimate for making apple pie didn't include the baking time! :)
Vert90 11
@30, cool story, the reason it's spelled differently is because Webster(dictionary guy) decided to have fun and change the spelling of words, and when he sold his dictionaries, they were so cheap the american schools had to buy them, so the kids learned to spell it that way. ex: originally it was spelled colour, the americans spell it color. Just thought I'd interest you. The more you know.
ligerzero459 24
Your mother-in-law is a bitch. Stop trying, she's not worth it