Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML
Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML
Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML
Today, I had gotten a Costco style pumpkin pie and whipped cream for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and stepdad ended up so stuffed from the main course of the dinner that they didn't want the pie. I got that stuff for them specifically. I'll have to eat the pie myself so it doesn't go to waste. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I think cyanide may be a good ingredient to add next time you make one for her... But jokes aside, don't bother making her anything, she'll never like anything you cook.
ClosetTroll 10
If she stuffed herself then you know she liked it. It might take her a while to admit the same.
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Comments (143)
emil04 0
Ouch!
MommaSmurf 0
Well, that may depend on whether the English class is in the U.S. or in England. :)
IBeLikeBitchPlz 0
her fat ass was still eating it..hungry bitch
EllyG 6
I wouldn't take it personally, OP. She is probably just trying to come to terms with the fact that she is "losing her son to another woman". She may also be testing you. I sometimes have to put up with some less than pleasant stuff with my future mother-in-law too. Just hang in there and stay persistent. She will back down eventually.
CountMonteCristo 3
Between mouthfuls? So she was eating it. . . . is it possible she was just remarking, rather than "bitching", that the pie was different and that you are just a paranoid psychopath? Just sayin'
coolkitty154 11
Do you even know what a psychopath is, genius?
sulitak 27
I know plenty of people that will bitch about their food between mouthfuls. meaning they're eating it and complaining how horrible it is...
Bcfrmkc816 17
Should've thrown the rest in her face
matoaka_fml 10
What a twat.
jeremy_654321 7
**** her! what a bitch.
CougeeSwagg 19
Biiiiiiitch!