Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML
Today, I was talking to my wife about the pie she'd made and she was really leaning on the need to be reassured, so I said, "It was real good Mom." FML
Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML
Today, I had gotten a Costco style pumpkin pie and whipped cream for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and stepdad ended up so stuffed from the main course of the dinner that they didn't want the pie. I got that stuff for them specifically. I'll have to eat the pie myself so it doesn't go to waste. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I think cyanide may be a good ingredient to add next time you make one for her... But jokes aside, don't bother making her anything, she'll never like anything you cook.
ClosetTroll 10
If she stuffed herself then you know she liked it. It might take her a while to admit the same.
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Comments (143)
lollipop77_fml 6
Ungrateful cow! And we wonder how mother-in-laws become monster-in-laws??... Kudos to you for going the extra mile, and sorry you have such an unfeeling monster, oops mother-in-law.
askantik 4
The reason this happened is because you didn't invent the universe before you made your apple pie from scratch.
angelofsaturn 23
aw I bet it was delicious and she's just a bitchy bitch with no taste. (I'd have said that I'd eat your pie but that's kinda forward. lol)
kingchelsea 3
I lol'd
_Oblivion_ 12
Too..much..niceness *explodes*
PeachesnCream88 0
Wow you all need to chill out .... As long as you understand what the person says and its not going to get marked or your job depends on it... WHO CARES if he said 'ppl' instead of people? "U" still understood it? I am tired of the amount of grammar nazis on FML......
The_Hitdude 12
PeachesnCream88: I might agree with you, if it wasn't for the fact that the Commenting Policy clearly states that no text language is allowed. No one will have an issue with you ('you' being generalized) if you take time with your grammar and spelling, which isn't difficult to do.
Sirin_fml 47
The_Hitdude is correct. Besides, using TXT language and expecting to be taken seriously is a bit like wearing an "I ♥ Dane Cook" shirt while you call someone else tasteless, stupid, lacking a decent sense of humour, and stuff.
mk58 31
Yet another time when I wished I could thumb up one of the mods. *sobs*
eeppiicc 8
I thought 15 was making a joke when he put "practise what you preach" about how doby said ppl instead of spelling it. P.s. Doby you can't speak stupidity out loud over the internet. just thought I would let you know seeing as you can't even spell people out.
reginal 9
Mother in laws suck, don't worry op