Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML
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Top comments
lokang 0
What a bitch~! she hit ur palm with her face... Does it still hurt??
DocBastard 40
Lies! Just admit that you slapped her for stealing your seat in the first place.
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Comments (105)
lokang 0
What a bitch~! she hit ur palm with her face... Does it still hurt??
silvercamaro 22
Today I was on the bus during rush hour traffic. We arrived at my stop and just as I got up a man swatted a fly into my face. FML
_Oblivion_ 12
Too.. much...niceness.. *explodes*
_Oblivion_ 12
Can a mod remove this and the above comment?
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
No. They can't.
_Oblivion_ 12
They can't? And thank you
PeachesnCream88 0
Lmao aw poor.. Both of you.. OP: ugh stupid fly! *swing arm* Woman: Oh! My stop! *lean forward* ******* PTTTSSSHHH***** OP: Shit hows your head? Woman: **** , hows your hand? I've got a pretty darn hard head.....
jezane 9
Today I was on the bus during rush hour traffic. We arrived at my stop and just as I got up a man swatted me into a women's face. FML
iiTsAJ 5
I wonder how she reacted...
theHIGHroad2 5
*facepalm* OP
Danny0522 8
*Faceslap
Birdie_Sage 0
**Facebugpalm
ycrem0n 21
*Face NaPalm Strike!
lebronesque73091 12
'*facepalm*' is sooooo funny...
DrDilllonReese 12
It fits this situation
KeyboardWarrior 10
The fail is strong in this thread.
deviable 9
Palmbo breaker? Nah...
DocBastard 40
Lies! Just admit that you slapped her for stealing your seat in the first place.
iStrukk 7
Your comments always make me laugh.
MissEmma_fml 22
OP: Oh my gosh sorry there was a fly! And now it's squished on your face! Woman: No honey, that's just a mole *walks away*.
jonmansheppard 9
Don't tell me it's that evil bitch off of 'The Suite Life of Zack and Cody'
alyspar2 5
Accidents happen, right?
bitch_pleez 10
Just explain the situation, it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
mpsteve137 15
Ydi for swatting the poor fly.
THE_A_TEEN 28
You have got to be ******* me. Flies are flying, shit-carrying, maggot-laying pests that can annoy the **** out of you. Also, if one fly is killed, there are others that will take its place. I bet you live in a pigsty.
The_Hitdude 12
mpsteve137: "Don't kill the rat! It didn't do anything to you (aside from chewing through your furniture, contaminating food and getting your son sick). Hey, look! The little guy brought some friends!" *picks up flea colony* "Aww, they're so cute! Oh, they're nibbling on my finger! Isn't that adorable?" This is the mindset I interpreted when I read your comment.
cheaptrix 6
Anyway, it'd suck to be a fly, he was just putting it out of its misery
deviable 9
Animals protect their territory, so can we.
mootoo31 6
You must be, like REALLY vegan.
Nevereverland 8
At least it wasn't a buzz kill!
cosmosis 12
... .... ... Nah mate!! Go on. Back to Nevereverland with you!
Nevereverland 8
Gotta admit that was horrible..
MaddieLynn123 7
What a fail.
loufol22 5
It's not your fault cause you didn't know she was coming and it's not her fault cause she didn't know you were gonna swing but... I have never seen someone bring a fly swatter on a bus....
MissEmma_fml 22
'In the path of my hand' - OP. There was no fly swatter -_-
tara805 0
Dur dur dur
itsharkley 8
Y U No use your brain?
blueandpurpleroc 4
How dare she. You better her straight now or she'll never know her place. How rude.
blueandpurpleroc 4
*set her straight
wildsweetchild 19
Don't worry OP you're not a woman beater..you're a fly killer! Who knows, maybe she deserves that one and that's how karma got her :)
MigraineurOfLife 15
Karma does work in strange ways.
thats_my_job 11
She could be the mother-in-law from the previous FML who didn't like the pie.